Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Billy Mays where are you?

My wife and family take immense pleasure reminding me, often, that I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. It's been my cross to bear for many years. I know it, and compensate, by observing the "best practices" of husbands whose high usefulness have been pointed out as exemplars. My current model, is the husband of a noted Kansas City writer.

So, Tuesday afternoon, Mrs. T asked what was on my plate for the day. It was a gorgeous March day. Atypically warm, near 80, with a chance of snow for later in the day.

I reminded her of our appointment with the taxman Thursday, and mentioned I have not yet begun preparations. So being a glorious day I went outside.

There is a job I have put off long enough. Today was the day.

I love porch rockers. We have 4 that are out year round. They are perfect whenever you want to think a job through. They are not perfect whenever they are black with mold and mildew.

In the fall I attempted power washing them, but they laughed at my ministrations. So I took the high road.

Now, every woman on the planet knows that you cannot do what I did. There is a product that removes mold and mildew from wooden rockers. Billy Mays sells it. I don't have a clue what it is.

So I resorted to the traditional method utilized by grandmothers in days gone by.


Took a plastic dish, a bottle of bleach, paint brush, and a hose. Mrs. T took one look at me and I got the dreaded eye roll, followed by the what's the matter with you?

The paint brush was powerful inefficient but the result was wonderful.

So what is the RIGHT way?



Martha said...

I've tried two of Billy Mays products -- they are NOT what you see on TV -- you did the right thing Toad -- the rockers look beautiful.

Gladys said...

OK here is my method. You know those sprayers you attach to your hose that you put liquid fertilizer in? Yeah those. I fill it with Tilex bathroom mold and mildew. I stand way to close to the chairs when I spray and it ends up in my mouth and all over my brand new bright yellow shirt that now has chlorine spots on it. Then I spray the chairs really good standing a little further away and let them sit. Then I go back over them again wait about 15 minutes then take a toilet brush and brush them.

Toad said...

I wore a black shirt, Gladys. My way seems easier.

David said...

I think you did the right thing, my solution would have involved a bottle of Clorox Clean-up Bleach and a trip to the car wash.

Toad said...

David, I wasn't dirty, the chairs were.

kathleen said...

My method is to take the porch chairs to the front yard. Far away from dogs and husband. Apply bleach. Hose them down. Repeat the following year.