Thursday, February 12, 2009

A couple of odds and ends

1. One of the cardinal rules of marketing is that you do not make things better by taking things away. The purists won't stand for it. No one wants to feel gypped. That is why this weekend we celebrate Valentines Day. (Does anyone else remember that not so long ago it was St. Valentines Day?)

One of the problems the ancient Catholic Church leaders had, when the religion began to spread, was how to incorporate festivals the fans were accustomed to into the new fold. It was a non starter to suggest that our religion was better than your crummy old one since we don't have those constant fertility festivals. It might keep away some of those on the fence who enjoyed the party but weren't so hip on the gods.

So, being clever salesmen they offered the same thing only different. You want a party in February? We got one too.

The Romans called it Lupercalia, the beginning of spring. It began with a ritual purification of their homes (spring cleaning to you), and led immediately into the fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman God of Agriculture as well as Romulus and Remus. This was held annually on the ides of February, the 15th for those of you unfamiliar with your Shakespeare.

So the crafty churchman said the 14th is close enough. How about instead of all that wine and sex we name it after a ascetic who wrote love stories to god. Sounded too good to be true. They probably invented Valentine.
Gents, Valentines Day is Saturday. Thou shall not ignore it, or those other fertility festivals may also be forgotten.

2. Could you imagine the uproar if the mom of the new octuplets told all TV, radio, magazine and newspaper requests "thank you, we are a very private family and are not interested in whoring our children?" And stood by it?

But the world wants to know, you'd say. "It's none of your business," mom would then reply.

3. Could you imagine the uproar if a reporter for some news outlet finally had enough one day, and called someone out on a euphemism, or for lying to him? Interview goes something like this. " The ethnic cleansing in ...." Reporter responds, by ethnic cleansing do you mean murder, Holocaust, slaughter of innocents?" And sticks with it. Ted Kopple notwithstanding.

4. I won $1,000,000 Monday night when Kansas lost to Missouri.

5. Take a look at new blogger Maxminimus I think he has the chops to make it.



Mrs. Blandings said...

I was with you until I found you bet against Kansas. Geez. This could be an on-going issue. You're forgetting that you have to be cuckoo to implant a litter in your body, so having grace in a difficult situation might be unlikely.

Toad said...

Mrs. B. my son in Topeka dn I have a long standing $1m wager, double or nuthin. He gets Kansas. I may drop a buckor two during the season, but will generally reclaim it in March. We'll let you in too, if ya wanna.

ADG said...

Toad...thanks for the kind affirmation regarding my blogging efforts...I'll keep the drivel coming.

I enjoyed this post and as engaging as it is, I'm pleased that it didn't "set me off" like your two previous ones did.

Kansas v Missouri all of you like family but I don't much care. Kinda like watching two mules fight over a turnip. Sorry.

The fertile mamma...I've done consulting work with the American Society of Reproductive Medicine. Gotta tell you et al ... there's an incredible level of humanity and technology that goes into assisting infertile folks with conceiving and taking home from the hospital A HEALTHY BABY. And I mean one baby. Maybe twins but beyond that, there are ethical issues big time.

I can't bet anyone a million former wife has all the dough. However, I'll bet one dollar that other then the Jerry Springer-esque coverage of the mother and babies, the focus on the clinicians involved in this boondoggle will pale quickly.

There is no medical malpractice definfed by law. The Society might at best, publish some gently worded hand slap but that's only because they don't want the high dollar, high margin (I know what the margins are!)industry that they have created to suffer.

They do to some degree, work miracles...but those miracles should come one...two at the most, babies at a time.


~Tessa~Scoffs said...

Dear Toad of Toad Hall,
nice post. my catholic calendar, however, states that February 14 is the feast of St. Cyril and St. Methodius. Not Valentine. not sure when he disappeared from the official feast day list. probably about the time Hallmark shanghai'd the party.
Mrs. Scoffs
Scoffington Manor

Toad said...

tessa: 3 St. Valentine's show up in the Catholic Encyclopedia for 2/14,

I believe he went the way of Mr. Christopher

Giuseppe said...

Didn't Christmas used to be Jesus' birthday or something? Can't remember.