Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Let's modernize weddings.

For years, I have begun my Sundays by reading the NY Times Vows section. The sense of hope and optimism on display has long been a tonic to the rest of the paper. I still enjoy it, but its also beginning to bring me down. Allow me to explain.

Take Sunday's paper for example. Twenty nine couples exchanged vows. Most weddings were performed by traditional priests, rabbis or ministers in traditional churches, temples, or synagogues. Almost half were married in what would have been considered a non traditional setting, not many years ago.

Twenty four per cent of the weddings were conducted by folk who mailed in a check and won an ordination. Think about this a bit.

We've all been to those weddings where the newly Rev'ed, Aunt Jane, is the officiant. These weddings always feel like a mixed metaphor to me. If the betrothed do not want a religious ceremony why go through the hassle?

I am beginning to prefer the Colorado method.

In Colorado, and probably many of the formerly frontier states, a couple is considered married, when and if, they say they are. End of story. No preachers, Justice of the Peaces, judges or anyone else required. Makes perfect sense. Probably gives the family law attorneys fits too.

Currently, this right does not extend to all Colorado's citizens and that's not fair. Hopefully, we will overcome that prejudice soon.

Toad

9 comments:

ZZ said...

Very timely comment. Univ of Wisconsin Law Professor Ann Althouse just got self-married in Colorado. Details at her blog: http://althouse.blogspot.com/

Toad said...

ZZ thanks, what a great post.

Kathy said...

Having a son soon to be living with his girlfriend in Colorado, I found your post particularly interesting. I might not share it with him (even though I really like his girlfriend). I agree with you.

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Wow, had no idea self = proclaimed matrimony existed anywhere. I agree with your too Toad, the mail order preacher is a bit to out there for me. I guess that the traditionalist in me. Thanks for the info!

ms. mindless said...

cool post!

soodie :: said...

I did just that: got married in Colorado, said our vows to one another -- words we really meant and none of that honor or obey stuff I could never swallow. We did pay the $10 in cash to the court to file the papers. This time around it truly meant more. (First time was confusing, costly and bureaucratic involving a church. Way too many rules and particular ways of doing things.)

Toad said...

Tony Bennett may be right after all.

Anonymous said...

I'm a pastor (graduate school, not mail order) and I found your thoughts on self-marriage very interesting.

Shelley said...

You're right - either you do the religious thing or you don't. Maybe Auntie Jane is planning to go into business for herself and is using you as a guinea pig or a means to start her 'portfolio' of weddings???