I've lost my wife.
No, not in the mall. She's locked in her office with her new best friend, the Oprah Winfrey Network, promising/threatening to never reappear.
Mrs. T relaxes after the gym by catching up with Oprah. Skipping over the commercials frees 40 minutes or so of my day. Time I often spend with you. Now, the Oprah Network exists,and it's all Oprah and her minions 24/7.
Which answers the age old question, "Can you ever get too much Opie?" Apparently, not.
29 minutes ago