12 hours ago
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Are you familiar with the Bulwer-Lytton award? It should strike fear in every blogger's heart.
Given by the English Department of San Jose State University its awarded for the worst opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. The awards name, Bulwer-Lytton is derived from Sir Edward Bulwer-Lytton's and his novel "Paul Clifford". Perhaps you are familiar with its opener.
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents – except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
Inspired while nursing her son, this year's winner, Molly Ringle won with this entry:
"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss – a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."
I believe we'd enjoy reading Tom Wallace's, the runner ups, complete novel.
"Through the verdant plains of North Umbria walked Waylon Ogglethorpe and, as he walked, the clouds whispered his name, the birds of the air sang his praises, and the beasts of the fields from smallest to greatest said, 'There goes the most noble among men' – in other words, a typical stroll for a schizophrenic ventriloquist with delusions of grandeur."
We've all taken that walk one time or another. You may submit your own entry here.