Monday, May 9, 2011

Straw Boaters

Bobby's Boston

My father went to great lengths to keep my rule making wish list in check, although I'm certain the world would now be a better place had my younger proscriptions been taken seriously. Time and again dad would quietly yet forcefully explain how those who cared enough to make rules, proceedures or policies had to care enough to enforce them. Not just once, but near forever I heard "It saps a man's will to live." That said,

I propose the following law:

That no man, not yet old enough to draw his retirement pension, may at any time or circumstance appear in public wearing a straw boater.

It's corollary is simple: Take the damn hat off, you look like a doofus. This, coming from a hat guy.

Have you ever seen a young man in a skimmer that didn't look like the hat was wearing him? No!

A skimmer needs more than youthful aplomb, it requires dignity, elsewise it looks costumey. The required gravitas is accrued only through experience. I've 2 in a hat box in my closet, that I hardly dare to look at, much less consider wearing.

These gentlemen demonstrate a properly worn boater.

Mr. William Benemann-UC -Berkeley
Conta Costa Times

My law specifially applies to menfolk only. Charlotte may wear whatever she chooses.

photographer unknown, maybe Mr. Mort



preppyplayer said...

As usual, in agreement. On the young it can seem very affected, at least here in the NY area... or you would assume they are on their way to a costume party. Somehow I think it might work on anyone in the South...

ADG said...

Glad I read this...seeing how I'm just now venturing into hat land.

JMW said...

Saw a couple of boaters at the Derby and you'll be glad to know the gentlemen were age appropriate. :)

lloyd langston said...

who is that babe in the boots and short dress?

Toad said...

Ms. Charlotte Kemp Muhl is taken, but may be seen here:

The gent look familiar? He looks like his father, hint hint

old polo said...

I like hats myself. Have a few western types, but think that I have lusted long enough that I should treat myself to a boater. I also envision getting my South Texas ass kicked when I wear it!

Legallyblondemel said...

A boater on a Berkeley man? That's downright subversive given the setting, but terrific nevertheless.

Oldsman said...

With all due respect, Boaters were not worn by the elderly but quite the contrary. Young business men and the stylish party wore them. It's unfortunate enough that we that would like to bring this debonair hat back are compelled to have to feel bold to wear one. I love my skimmer and wear it well sir.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but since it is being worn indoors, the first one is NOT being properly worn.

Anonymous said...

The only time one can't wear a boater is when one isn't confident with himself, and thinks he looks like a dork..
Young and old look great in boaters.

Signed ,
Hat maker, Hatter, Haberdasher.