Monday, February 7, 2011



Gents, I have developed a quick test to help you determine if you are becoming old. Taken in the privacy of your own study, no one but you ever need know your results. Self scoring is strictly on the honor system here.

I kept a clipping of a story in the Independent, titled Blake Lively voted world's most desirable woman. An understandable reaction would be why I kept such musings, and I can only answer that I was taken aback. Who the hell is Blake Lively?

The gist of the story was a poll taken by rating the top 10 most desirable women in the world. TOP 10 MOST DESIRABLE WOMEN IN THE WORLD 2011

1. Blake Lively
2. Mila Kunis
3. Sofia Vergara
4. Selita Ebanks
5. Miranda Kerr
6. Cheryl Cole
7. Scarlett Johansson
8. Katy Perry
9. Anne Hathaway
10. Jessica Pare

So Gents, here's the test. Accept that you will never, ever meet any of these women, or if you do it will come at GREAT personal expense.

Question 1. How many of these women have you ever heard of?

Question 2. Who on the list could you pick out of a lineup?

A logical 3rd question would be who cares, but we're not going there.

I admit I am deeply over the horizon, having heard of 3, and maybe with good lighting, I could pick out 2. I have items living in my sock drawer older than most of these girls.

Good luck, the fogey line forms to your right.



OldSchool said...

I am pleased to report that I have only heard of Scarlett Johansson and Anne Hathaway.

vir beātum said...

I know 3, but could pick out only 1 (and only then because Woody Allen has a thing for Ms. Scarlett). But I am not old! I consider it merely a matter of discerning taste.

Shelley said...

It's not just a guy thing - I know who numbers 6 through 9 are. Pretty sure I could ID them in a line up, but - this is really awful - I find all the pretty young things look much alike to me - blonde or brunette (and of course that can change). Pathetic...then again, I don't really care, either.

Mom on the Run said...

The running joke that I have with my hairdresser every month when he hands me People magazine while I sit under the dryer for a few minutes (while my haircolor is doing its magic) is how many pages I will flip through before I see somebody I can identify.

James said...

3, and I could pick 1, maybe 2 in good light. I could go toe to toe with you on sock age.

preppyplayer said...

If you had a sixteen year-old daughter? She would know all and who they were dating.

Suburban Princess said...

I only know 3 of them - I dont know if it's about being old...but simply over 30.

Barbara said...

Definitely NOT a guy thing. I could pick one out of a line-up, but am familiar with the names of 3. Lord, I am ancient.

Anonymous said...

Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston are going to be suicidal over this.

Patsy said...

I've heard of 6, could pick Ms. Johansson, Ms. Vergara and Ms. Hathaway out of a lineup, but some of them don't even remotely register - who the heck is Jessica Pare??

David said...

Toad, if you're unfamiliar with Sofia Vergara you should look her up. You'll be glad you did.

T said...

I've heard of 8. I'm thinking I could pick out 4 of them. What can I say...I'm online a lot these days.

LPC said...

But so funny.

Anonymous said...

Gentlemen, help me out here. I'm old, but I'm not dead. Explain to me if you will, how you deal with the implants issue. Or, is it an issue at all? Do you look at photos of well-endowed ladies, observe the pair of perfect-circle artificial grapefruit halves surgically affixed to their chests, and still fall as rapturously in lust as you would had they been soft and real? I need an education, and this is the perfect time and place, with Mr. Toad's blessing of course.

Toad said...

Posted by Anonymous:

There was an article in Wired Magazine not long ago about the future use of genetic modification using stem cells and magic to recreate breasts say maybe for women who have undergone mastectomies, or for issues of personal choice.

I have a friend whose hands on experience is ancient and limited, but they made him laugh.

Jg. for FatScribe said...

only because i used to work in this world a bit (plus we had an Internet company that spoke to many in this demo), but i could recognize only 9 and pick out of a lineup maybe 7.

i think your no. 3 is best, "who the hell cares?"!!!

Toad said...

Curse you David.

I still haven't a clue who she is.

Scale Worm said...

I have heard or seen 3 of them online/in magazines/ film, and could, if forced to, ID 2 of them.
I confess, I am not a people watcher, too many activities in my life demanding too many neurons to go into use for "film" starlet types, or heaven forbid popular "music" in this modern day...
" Oh mother, I can feel, the soil falling over my head...".

Ian from Downunder said...

I'll take Sophia Loren any time ahead and instead of that lot.

So gentlemen, we're having a competition with our sock drawers are we? Fine, I'll just get my camera. What's the prize?

Divine Theatre said...

Gee! I don't even recognize the woman in the mirror!
I looked these women up. It seems as if they all share the same plastic surgeon?

Scale Worm said...

Plastic surgery is a joke, as are implants. I'll take a real woman over any face/boob job any day of the week, or time of the day!

ADG said...

One. One.

I'm going to bed now. Damn.