Thursday, June 10, 2010

The IHM network

Mrs. T is a devoted fan of the I Hate Men television Network, aka The Lifetime Movie Network.

If you are unfamiliar, their story lines go something like this. Bad John Ritter has been mistreating his lovely wife Meridith Baxter Birney for way too long. Finally, John snaps and M is going to get it good. M fights back, kills John, wins awards and meets John's 3 other families at the funeral.

There are a number of variations to this theme, basically they're not unlike a Nicholas Sparks movie.

Over time, the IHM network takes a toll on one's marriage. I've never threatened to take Mrs. T's broom away, or even her TV remote. Still whenever I walk in the room and John's about to get it, I always ask, "What did I do this time".

It's good to take on the roll of the bad guy. A strategist will preach to the unwary, You must know what the other side knows. It's the only way to stay several steps ahead, and guys don't stand a chance.

I did get my evens yesterday though.

Included in my morning routine is the ritual of dishing out the dogs daily medicine, and ours. Coincidently, we recently changed brands of 2 vitamins and the tabs are a different color than previously. It took several days for my bride to notice the difference, but finally she asked "What's this?"

Cyanide, I told her. She swallowed it.



James said...

You have to admire your wife's moxie.

Mom on the Run said...

Hilarious. And here's something to think's not just my dad, but a couple others I know of in their late 60's-70's who now watch Lifetime Movie Network all day and night. Seriously, we think all the testosterone must've disappeared or something. It's crazy.

ADG said...

This post, for some reason, scared me!

Toad said...

MOTR they are on a recon mission, don't worry about them, worry about mom

Shelley said...

Gee, the things I miss out on, not living in the US...

Dad said...

When my wife use to watch that network constantly I called it the Women as Victims network.