Sunday, October 9, 2011

I'm confused

I'm confused.

I was home alone Friday when one of Mrs. T's girlfriend's phoned. "She was shopping across town and lost her car keys. Would I please jump through 2 hoops, pick up her spare set of keys, and rescue her?" Having no reason to say no, I said yes, jumped through 2 hoops and delivered her keys. No big deal, and everything turned out all right.

Somehow word leaked, and I've heard nothing but grief from women since. Ever since I heard "Why did you go?... Why didn't you tell her to call one of her siblings?... Why not say no..why why...

My sole answer is: Once upon my lifetime, chivalry was an expectation. Forget paying Karma forward, gentlemen came to the assistance of a woman in distress. To do otherwise was unthinkable. Skipping the Blanche DuBois, damsel in distress card, a friend needed help and I was glad I could lend a hand. How difficult is that? If I am a MCP so be it, it's part of the Boy Scout code of conduct.

Women's struggle for equality has come with an adverse effect for civics teachers. Civility, and the daily examples which allow young men an opportunity to learn that however the scales of equal opportunity are tipped men and women still have differences, and those differences need to be respected and cherished.

Sadly, the genie has escaped and is most difficult to squeeze back into the bottle. From my recent experience I'd believe it's the sisterhood that wants him out. In my heart I don't believe it.




Shelley said...

Strange that so many should second guess your good deed. You may have viewed it as chivalry - perhaps you would have said no to another man? - but I see it as just being kindly to another human being. What's to argue with about that? Thank you, Toad, for being a nice person.

Suburban Princess said...

I know several husbands who have told me if I need help with anything to give them a call. I am friends with their wives and they all know my husband is gone a lot so if something drastic happens (like a bird falling down the chimney) I am going to need some help. They have carried bathtubs, driven me to the garage to get my car, babysat my son while I needed to run an emergency errand...all in the name of friendship and community.

Good for you for not succumbing to peer pressure. These other women are ticked off simply because they know they dont have someone who might rescue them in their time of need.

A.U.G. said...

I am a college junior and many times when I see a lady behind me I will wait and hold the door and I can honestly say that such deeds never go unnoticed.
Getting noticed is not the aim, it is simply what was taught to me at a very young age. It has become second nature and I really do not think twice about these selfless acts. It is as if they are unconsciously carried out without a thought. The pervasive thought is that I am a rarity in the midst of my cohorts. Your are gentleman dear sir.

Anonymous said...

Let me see if I hear you right. Mrs. T's friend made an SOS call to your house, I'm guessing she was calling Mrs. T. to help her out of her jam, but Mrs. T was not at home so you said, "I'll help you out of your jam, hold tight, I'll be there directly," and you did. Do I have this right?

Heck, why wouldn't you help your wife's friend out of a jam? Yes, I too am confused.


Anonymous said...

Toad, you're a gentleman and a scholar. Did you drive the Bentley? Well done sir, well done.

LPC said...

They were just jealous. Pay no mind.

Karena said...

Toad, bravo!!

I would not want a gentleman friend, or like a friend's husband who would NOT rise to the occasion and help when in need!

Chivalry is very important.I applaud you. What is wrong with some to question this most kind gesture.


Art by Karena

Toad said...

Thank you, I was becoming afraid that I was either so out of touch with how the world works, or had lost my mind. I'm glad that neither is true, yet.

Jg. for FatScribe said...

well done, you. i would expect nothing less than said conduct from you, sir.

ms. mindless said...

In today's world, people are so strange.

The boy often does things for our neighbor, because her husband is military and works second shift (2pm-10pm). He will notice her doing heavy lifting alone in their yard and offer a hand whenever he can. He also carries heavy packages for her. He husband is a wonderful man who appreciates (and returns) the favor and they have become great friends of ours and are lovely neighbors.

Guess what the crazy women's libbers say? The neighbor woman is trying to steal my husband and that he is "too nice" and it is suspicious.

Anonymous said...

Before the sun goes down on this topic, may I inquire if Mrs. T was/is ok with how things played out? I respect her opinion.

You've made a beautiful explanation from your point of view, but was she threatened by or fearful of the motives of her friend? Does she support your effort on behalf of her friend? I, too, am married to an adorable husband who blindly leaps to assist, on instinct, no question, he would never say no to a male or a female.

The rest of the story is I'm not always happy about it, I confess.


Toad said...

Flo her first reaction was why didn't I say no. I think she eventually came around. I know she would have gone ,smiling yet begrudgingly.

Linda McMullan said...

I am completely flabbergasted that ANYONE, male or female, would sit on their acrimonious behinds and pound out missives to you, criticizing you for helping someone who needed help. Not to mention that the hapless person was obviously familiar enough with you to call on you in their hour of need. Who's to say that you won't need help from THEM in future?? Good grief.

Chuck Hatt said...

And every time it snows I will shovel the walks of our lovely next door neighbor as she works her midnight nursing shift at the local teaching hospital.

Beside the fact that I love being out in that weather with my two hounds I enjoy knowing that she will feel relieved to arrive to her cleared driveway and walk to her front door feeling safe and cared for by her neighbors.

Toad said...

And that's the way a community should feel.

Easy and Elegant Life said...


Keep fighting the good fight Toad. People only follow those who lead from the front.

Legallyblondemel said...

What Lisa said - they were just jealous. Please carry on, as we intend (or I intend for my men) to do so here.