Carla Bruni

Ladies, please work with me here.

It's Friday, late afternoon. You've had a tough week. Your beloved, who has thoughtfully sent the kids to the grandparents for the night, greets you at the door with a glass of wine. You kick off your shoes, settle onto the sofa, where a foot rub and nibbles await, while you regale him with the trials and tribulations of your day.

He's listens raptly, focused on your every word.

Then it's his turn to speak.

He suggests that for this season (for he thinks of your life together as a televison series) that you pretend not to live in Utah. He says he wants to introduce a new character to the show. Thinks life would be better together if you had a sister wife.

He's thinking Carla Bruni for our series. She's Italian, so may know her way around a pasta machine. She's also French. Married to the French president, but that might not matter. Probably has a pretty good head for wine and cheese. May have some contacts at the better vinyards.

Speaks English better than most natives, sings well, not offensive to the eye, and has her own pocket change.

Seems perfect to me, but I'll be dashed if I can sell it. The head of programming forcefully says NO!

Toad, still the happiest married man ever.