Monday, March 14, 2011

When Brooks serves you lemons....

As long as BB's serves up softballs I gotta swing. Jim Bob's dad instructed us early that if you don't take advantage of idiots, God will stop sending them your way, believing that you no longer want to play. Please Coach, put me in.

After school mom and dad collect the kids, telling them it's time to do a bit of spring clothes shopping. Your oldest daughter asks where are we going? There is after all the lame mall and the less lame mall, but it's farther away. Mom says, why don't we go visit the folks with the cool old truck in their ad. Oldest son wets himself in disbelief.

So everyone's in the car but dad's going the wrong way. Junior smells a rat. He's about to get screwed but doesn't know how, where or why, until Pop pulls into the Brooks Brothers lot.

Mom this isn't the Hilfigers store with the truck. Mom. The anxiety is palpable. Imagine a Greek chorus chanting "I'm not getting out of the car" becoming louder and louder.

Says mom, it's just the same as that other truck. Come on in, it will be fine.

Mother, I attend a public high school, not New White Bread City High!!!! Are we moving, I'll never be able to show my face..... What is this crap?

Dad, of course is oblivious to the noise around him. He's timed this perfectly. They shop and he's home in time for martinis and the news.

Ladies is this fetching shirt dress burning a hole in your credit card? Only $65. I didn't think so either.

There is something really creepy about the photo above. Young Barbara Bush looks 15 while he's old enough to be hitting on moms at the tennis club.

My personal favorite is the photo below. Western wear from BB's. There was a time when BB didn't have shirt pockets.

The treasures above are from BB's Supima Cotton Collection catalog.


vir beātum said...

Too funny. Home run.

James said...

Ah yes another day in the life of Biff, Babs and the Wee Bains. Love the quote about idiots. Enjoy your day.

JMW said...

This made me laugh out loud - too funny! Yeah, all so very original. The double-pocket western shirt has to go.

The Down East Dilettante said...

Terrifically amusing.

However, it all looks better in the catalog. I was in BB for the first time in months just predictable and golf-y. To say nothing of the fact that it's all coated with that awful no-iron resin that makes any resemblance to cotton purely coincidental. I left empty handed.

On another note: I learned to drive a stick in just such a pickup--a '49 Chevy, roaming and jerking til I learned the clutch on the roads on my family's property. Ah youth.

nanc said...

You made me laugh out loud. I just got back from returning my son to Rolla in this mess and sat down to relax and read.

Divine Theatre said...

I always laugh at J Crew ads, where the women are miserably anorexic and self involved. They are being fawned over by obviously gay men, similarly self involved.
I want a REAL world J Crew ad, where the men are all fawning over each other. That would be cool.