Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Can't hurt to try, can it?

Beware the Ides of March.

I'm uncertain whether this works for women, but I'm game, and for you and science I'll give it a go, and willingly share MY results, but it may take several years, so please be patient.

According to a learned study reported a while back by The Med Guru, I can quit my daily gym routine and in exchange undertake a regime of vigorous ogling.

"Frankfurt, Germany, December 6 -- A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health (depends on whose?) and increases their life expectancy. (I may be an exception as Mrs. T disagrees about me and the life expectancy thingee)

"According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. (Per occasion? I may live to be...) "

No mention of drooling. My grandfather used to ogle and drool, but we thought he had old timers. Now I learn we caught him amidst his exercise, shame on us.)

"She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out." (Seemingly for the female. Try this in real life guys and see where/how you end up.)

In olden days, men could ogle while at work. Women would get their 30 minute aerobics running around office furniture. It seemed fair at the time, although it is a practice no longer recommended.

Like I said I'll try it, but I'm unsure I want to live to be a 1000. Should you notice I'm not here, in a few days call the police, Mrs. T has killed me.


Divine Theatre said...

Who funded the study? Hooters?

Divine Theatre said...

I just realized that the mammogram technician is immortal.

James said...

I truly believe the female form is one of God's greatest works. However today's society in general ,and my wife in particular, won't allow a lot of worshiping. It is sad that a simple "You look nice today" is seen as offensive harassment.

Barbara said...

Actually, if you kept up your gym routine, you'd get double the exercise. Ogling at the gym is an art form.

Toad said...

Barbara,surely it's merely a coincidence my bride joined me at the gym today since she knows I can barely see the ground without my specs, which I do not wear while there. She wasn't offering commentary