Monday, October 18, 2010

Fortuna

Today, Fortuna has smiled upon you as she spun her wheel, and you have been blessed to find your self in one of the greatest jobs in the corporate world. The gods have declared that you are now responsible, not only for your company, Weight Watchers, real estate holdings, but it falls on your head (with lots of help, of course) to rent the storefronts across the country from which to do business.

In times like these, your department makes money hands over fist. Choice of alternative space is plentiful, landlords at last, are begging to renegotiate contracts for more favorable terms, rents are falling, every dime you save the company fattens your bonus. Life is good.

Your retail presence has few requirements. Storefronts are best located in well maintained strip malls on busy streets, with safe and well lit parking. It is preferred that you stay near family friendly businesses, and away from pawn shops, saloons, tattoo parlors or payday loan stores. The company image is all important, and you'd hate to risk that by having unseemly neighbors, or ruffians hanging about outside your door.

Given the demands and opportunities of your new department, doesn't relocating your local store next to the Honey Baked Ham Store seem incongruous?



Toad

9 comments:

Shelley said...

Here in Britain where planning laws rule, I would guess the Ham place could complain to the council and prevent WW from setting up shop next door (that's a guess) lest they discourage customers. On the other hand, imagine sitting in a WW meeting (never been to one, but could guess) and smelling that succulent aroma? Bad choice on the part of WW, I think!

James said...

Thank once again for early morning mirth.

Anonymous said...

The local WW in my town is right next door to a Dairy Queen. The irony isn't lost. - KT

Patsy said...

Our local franchise is next to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. The folks with good weigh ins go over to celebrate, those with bad, to commiserate.

Suburban Princess said...

*snicker*

We have a weight loss place next to DQ!

David said...

The managers should get together and devise some sort of 5-point sandwich!

Anonymous said...

Mine is next to a Whataburger, but it wouldn't matter if it was next to a salad bar - everyone knows that the best time to "cheat" at Weight Watchers is right AFTER you weigh in, so that you have the whole week ahead to make restitution!

NCJack said...

I'm thinking like Shelley, if I have a "fat food" place, do I want WW right next door?

"Aren't you getting out?" "Well, I changed my mind, I think I'll just get a salad at the deli" Yeah, me too"

The Down East Dilettante said...

tooo funny. This one is being forwarded