9 hours ago
Monday, March 1, 2010
Police citations are taken with a grain of salt in Mayberry. They are somewhat more advisory than serious, especially if you have a certain mindset or are a member of a certain local tribes.
Tickets are meant to be fixed, except by the seriously stupid.
Get a ticket and one of two things takes place. You call your lawyer or police buddy and somehow everything goes away. All records are expunged. The second, more public option is this. On most commercial intersections hangs the shingle of one of the guys who was near the bottom of his law class. He advertises his ticket fixing service for $49. You may have to plead guilty to excessive noise, or part time vagrancy, but no moving violation ever occurred by the time he's through. All perfectly legal.
If you're of the right tribe, examples abound of cops driving the impaired home, after too many. In one case of mistaken identity the locals shot the tires of a tribesman involved in a drug bust gone bad. Once they realized their mistake the officers changed the guys tire, and returned his guns and merchandise.
I offer this background so you may share my incredulity encountered during dinner recently.
Mrs. T and I were at an event, the conversation was more gossip than anything and one of the women at our table, stone sober and straight faced, allowed that she couldn't count the number of times she had received multiple tickets in the same day. Usually driving car pool. She wasn't kidding.
Mrs. T got her first ticket in 30 years last summer and cried all day. She was unable to speak.
I asked if it were OK if her kids followed her modelling. Most certainly they wouldn't, she informed me. I'm still wondering why.