Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mrs. T dodged a bullet

Gents, you can be the right guy, but you can't make yourself be the right guy.

Women will understand this intuitively, while very few men will understand it at all.

Mrs. T dodged a bullet last week. Her daughter(a college junior) has been dating a guy several years older, since school began in the fall. The lad has completed his schooling, and is hard at work on a successful career. On paper not a bad catch.

Last Tuesday, clearly thinking he was the one, the lad called and asked Mrs. T the dreaded " may I ask for....." question.

Mrs. T told him to call back in a couple of years when her daughter finished her schooling.

The two of them were here for the holidays. It was clear he was besotted, and that she liked him but maybe not as much.

Valentines Day came and went with no major announcements. It was clear they have discussed the matter, but maybe mom scared him off.

let the good times roll!



Shelley said...

Boy, that's a tough situation to watch. I'm convinced that women don't always know what they really want. What my instinct drove me toward was generaly a disaster. Bill chose me, not the reverse, and it took me a while to accept it. Hands down, smartest thing I ever did. Hope the young man either convinces the daughter or finds someone who is crazy about him.

M.Lane said...

There is a great old Eagles lyric that goes "...you can make a life for her that fits like a glove but...you can't make love".

One time a lady I knew socially asked me what I thought about a proposal she had received. All I could think to say after [then] over 15 years of marriage was "If you have to talk yourself into it you shouldn't do it. If I can talk you out of it you shouldn't do it."

Good for your daughter.


Mrs. Blandings said...

Oh, my goodness, she's way too young. I do hope she decides to wait. All the discontented mommies in the carpool line married the guy they fell in love with at 19. Some of them terrific guys, but everyone needs a hey day.

I don't mean to imply that everyone who marries their first love feels this way - it's just something the itchy ones have in common.

foobella said...

Speaking from experience, I would say "the lad" just wants to "mark his territory" for fear of her finding someone else at school.

Toad said...

Foobella I love the phrase he just wants to mark his territory. It feels so right.

I was married too young, and save for my 3 wonderful children its been the greatest mistake of my life, thus far.

Kathy said...

Good for Mrs. T to speak her mind so clearly. Too often it seems that by the time the lad is asking, it's a foregone conclusion.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, THE question...

Sometimes one cannot dissuade the asking of the question, but it's empowering for a young woman to know that she can answer "no." I did it twice without regret.


ADG said...

I will not have to have these types of conversations I will not have to have these types of conversations I will not have to have these types of conversations I will not have to have these types of conversations I will not have to have these types of conversations I will not have to have these types of conversations.

Thank you.

Toad said...

ADG of course you shant. Her mother will, and send you the bill.

ADG said...