The Awakening

Sometimes the stars align just right.

For the last 27 years my favorite outdoor sculpture, J. Seward Johnson's "The Awakening" has been living in Washington DC. It's positively stunning, in size (100 ft long, 17 ft high) and scope. Unforgettable and frightening at the same time. I just don't see it often enough.

Now its leaving Washington, and moving to my backyard. OK, maybe a crow fly mile away. I can barely wait.

You are each welcome to be our guests at its unveiling which is scheduled for early fall 2009. Looking forward to meeting y'all.

Toad

Marco Pierre White - Cool Guy

Cool Guy. Marco Pierre White

Admit it. Until Wednesday night's television show you have never heard of Marco Pierre White. Tony Bourdain fans have known him a long time. Its OK. He's English. You don't have to know every cool guy in the world. That's why I'm here. MPW is one of the cool ones.

First the photo above. Anthony Bourdain says its the photo that made him want to be a chef. Young, brooding, determined. Have you ever seen a better looking guy? A guy girls mothers warned them about. A young Keith Richards perhaps.

MPW evolved from this to be a food star, and one of the world's great restaurateurs. For sport check out his inn and restaurant The Yew Tree.

So now he's a little older. Got a bit more cash in the pockets. Still driven, still brooding, more of a perfectionist than ever. Better looking too. It's claimed he made Gordon Ramsey cry when Gordon apprenticed with him.

It's tough to find a photo of him that doesn't look like every other. In a suit he's Saville Row, Shirts are pretty conservative in a non-British sort of way, no checks, or loud stripes. When you do catch him in a tie it looks like a very Italian get up. I'd sell your soul for his hair.

Obligatory Cigar shot.

Like most cool guys he has his share of styling tics. Often in a suit, you'll see him with no tie, shirt sleeves unfastened, no socks, wearing tennis shoes, especially those stupid vintage Vans. Not everyone can pull that off without looking like an idiot. It takes elan, which he has in spades.

Looks happy with the wife doesn't he?

Toad

The well dressed blog

Anyone else seen The Well Dressed Blog? Your Swedish may be a bit rusty, but as often as not you'll get the idea.

Toad

Dear Miss Manners

Dear Miss Manners:

I read your column frequently, and have not seen my problem addressed. Once again let me explain.

I neither Face Book nor Tweet.

In my mind I have rationalized my refusal to Book on the following grounds.
a. I'm too old.
b. I have worked hard over the years to edit my friend closet on an as needed basis.
c. Perhaps I am either anti or too social. I haven't decided
d. I'm male, married, and never want to end up on Dr. Phil or in front of the green eyed monster defending my friend list.

However, I'm still have that tinge of sadness whenever I refuse someone's generous proposal to be their friend. Of course I want to be their friend. Just not their Face Book friend.

So Miss Manners, we are all new at this, just what is the netiquette of asking someone to be your friend? How does a gentleman graciously refuse?


Toad

A thousand pardons

It has come to my attention that blog titles are suddenly not appearing on the posts.  I thought it was just mine.

After a little dance I have discovered what I believe to be the cure, just gotta learn a bit of html to implementit. Hope to have them restored soon.

Toad

Billy Mays where are you?

My wife and family take immense pleasure reminding me, often, that I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. It's been my cross to bear for many years. I know it, and compensate, by observing the "best practices" of husbands whose high usefulness have been pointed out as exemplars. My current model, is the husband of a noted Kansas City writer.

So, Tuesday afternoon, Mrs. T asked what was on my plate for the day. It was a gorgeous March day. Atypically warm, near 80, with a chance of snow for later in the day.

I reminded her of our appointment with the taxman Thursday, and mentioned I have not yet begun preparations. So being a glorious day I went outside.

There is a job I have put off long enough. Today was the day.

I love porch rockers. We have 4 that are out year round. They are perfect whenever you want to think a job through. They are not perfect whenever they are black with mold and mildew.


In the fall I attempted power washing them, but they laughed at my ministrations. So I took the high road.

Now, every woman on the planet knows that you cannot do what I did. There is a product that removes mold and mildew from wooden rockers. Billy Mays sells it. I don't have a clue what it is.

So I resorted to the traditional method utilized by grandmothers in days gone by.

STRAIGHT BLEACH.

Took a plastic dish, a bottle of bleach, paint brush, and a hose. Mrs. T took one look at me and I got the dreaded eye roll, followed by the what's the matter with you?

The paint brush was powerful inefficient but the result was wonderful.

So what is the RIGHT way?

Toad

Cynic Warning

I hate that I have become so cynical lately, but would anyone, be the least bit surprised if the ghost of Dr. Kivorkian visited the Bernie Madoff residence before Thursday morning?

Should you require further proof that this is a great country, I submit the following. Bernie Madoff still lives. In a less just country he would have been offed by now.

Toad

Dufus

I liberated this photo from Selectism's great web site, and in fact stole most of the idea for this post from them too.

Look at the two photos. They are Patek Phillipe ads, espousing their tag line, You never really own a PP. You merely look after it for the next generation. Invariably the ads show a father son team of do gooders.

Look closely at the lad on the right. Undoubtedly you've seen that look before. If you're lucky, it's the look you get on the way into the principals office as your son is about to be suspended. "The look is generally followed by "I didn't do nuthin' wrong".

Or, for the not so fortunate, it's the one you get when you pick him up Sunday morning from the local constable's store. "Duh, I didn't know I couldn't do that".

Now look at he kid on the left. He is dating his new step father's daughter. She lives with her mother, so is fair game. His swarmy Dad's dating his son's new step fathers sister, and its eating his ex's heart out. Thanksgiving will never be normal again.

Toad

Didn't you hope this was true of you?

I came across this story in my travels recently, and thought it may strick a chord or two. Ever wonder who those people in your family are?




Switched at Birth - Man Says He's Lucky to Have Two Mothers
by Bethany Sanders Mar 6th 2009 5:00PM
Categories: In the news, Weird but true


As a child, Fred George never fit in. His Lebanese family was a dark-haired, outgoing bunch, while he was a shy blond. Across town, another boy, Jim Churchman -- the only brunette in his fair Scottish family -- felt the same way."People teased me when I was younger," says George. "They said: 'You're a Churchman' ... but I didn't want to know." What was suspicion became truth. At the age of 57, long after George had moved to the U.S., the two men finally had a DNA test and discovered they'd been switched at birth. Born just two hours apart on Christmas Eve in 1946 in Dunedin, New Zealand, they'd been placed in the wrong bassinets at the hospital.This week George flew back to New Zealand to surprise the mother who never had a chance to raise him, Helen Churchman, on her 82nd birthday. "I feel I've two families," George said. "And I've been so lucky to have had two mothers." There's also a big blow-out planned for the reunion of the two changelings.



From ParentDish


Toad

Politically incorrect or just old

You know that old chestnut, white woman waiting for an elevator, finally it opens and there is a large group of young black men inside waiting for her. What's she to do?

Mrs. T and I were in Kansas City for the weekend, taking rooms at our home away from home, Uncle Harry's. So Mrs. T is about to leave me for a bit and at that last minute I decide to join her, just as the elevator arrives, and sure enough the elevator is half full of young black men. All the way down, I'm imagining what if.

As it was, they were a great bunch of guys, and as well as you can we had a very nice trip down, kidding the guys about how well they were turned out. Although I did point out they needed pocket square for their jackets.

So we got down stairs and the men were whisked off pretty quickly by a couple of huge guys waiting for them. Then the screeching started. There was a gaggle of girls in the lobby who though they had seen the second coming.

Thinking they were not yelling for me, I just had to ask, who were they?

Ever hear of 'Mint Condition"? I hadn't either.

Toad

Jerk

You've read the news. "He was such a nice, quiet man" "Such a good neighbor, never had any trouble with him". Then he finally snaps and takes out half the zip code. You want to envy the guy, but then the Kool Aid kicks in, and you say bad man, very bad.

Well friends, should/if/when I finally snap, (no this is NOT an attempt to be saved, thank you very much) please tell anyone who will listen what an awful malcontented jerk I was. I've yelled at my dog, was an anti-social and unchurched orphan, didn't shave every day. Smoked cigars, and didn't always cut the grass on time. A blind man could have foretold my undoing.

Please spread the news, if for no other reason, than to screw up the profiling. Might benefit the next guy.

Why should the quiet guys have all the fun and attention?

Toad

Remember these?

The sterling ID bracelet.

Once upon a time, say late 60's, very early 70's these were the bees knees. Practically every well dressed young buck sported their own monogrammed, or cursive scripted named ID bracelet. As often as not they ended up on the wrist of the young blade's current heart throb. I suspect that in many women's jewelry box there may be more than one. It was always something of a surprise to me how many guys bought these in multiples.

Way back then, they were a throw back to the military unit bracelets, which many of our dad's and other vets still wore.

I hadn't thought about these since forever, and was reminded while looking at the J Crew catalog. The one pictured above retails for $150 or so. They didn't used to cost so much.

Toad

NY State Speeding Tickets?

Who knows from NY speeding tickets?

In Missouri, a speeding ticket game is played with full knowledge of everyone involved. When you get a ticket, you hire a lawyer for $100. The lawyer gets your speeding charge changed to jaywalking, your fine is doubled and everyone, except the insurance companies win.

Is this the case in NY state?

Bonus daughter Mindy picked up an especially egregious piece of litter from a trooper in NY on her way home for spring break. The ticket clearly says when and where court is, but there is no mention of other options, like pleading guilty and mailing a check or...

I appreciate your sharing.

Toad

Wanna Bear?

Up for auction today mon amis is this 9 foot grizzly bear ( the one in back please). Currently living in Arizona, he is looking for a good home. I don't have ceilings to accommodate, and do have misgivings about taxidermy which was not dispatched by the family displaying it. Call me old fashioned.

Both my objections are easily surmounted, and if you are interested check it out. Openers are modest. Perhaps you are wont to surprise Hollister with a gift. Natch, the usual disclaimers apply.

Toad

Farmers only

Farmers Only is a match making service for the landed set. Their tag line, "City folks just don't get it" speaks volumes about their philosophy. I think I do get it, and that worries me.

I have nothing but respect for those who earn their living on the land. It is hard work. The pay is not that good, and the expenses are mostly out of your control. Sun up 'till sundown makes a man old quickly. Inconveniently located. Few good libraries nearby either. Thank god for Kindle.

So what's a girl to do? She's looking for a man of the earth, they find happiness on line. They email, they cell, they just never meet. Crop about to go in, come out, cattle to be cared for, cows to be milked. He's never off. Is he just not that into you, or is he just shy?

So naturally, she has to travel. A long way. She's a farm girl herself, she knows the hardships, she raises sheep, comes to find he's allergic to natural fibers. The twain shall never meet.

Toad

(thanks to The Dish)

Opening Day

March 1st is the traditional opening day of trout season in Missouri. Scenes like the one above are plentiful in the area papers. Looks like fun doesn't it?

There are several things you can count on if you head to one of the states bountiful, well stocked trout streams. It will be cold. It will be crowded. Many of the "anglers" around you will be terribly drunk, and mostly pretty angry. The drunkest are sure to tangle your line at every opportunity. That way when you, using your politest voice, ask them to take a nap, you will be confronted by a cold, angry, abusive drunk. You got an even chance he's armed too. Do not take the kids.

Tight lines.

Toad

I'm thinking about...

I'm thinking about winning the lottery this year.

Not the measly weekly $10-$20 million, but the ruin your great-grand kids lives $300-$400 million type.

Sadly, or fortunately, I am too old, and too set in my ways to have it change my life. I am not moving, don't want a jet, not buying a second or third home. Don't want servants. Have no latent hobbies.

After re-jigging the family trust so everyone gets a relatively small distribution and a monthly allowance, setting up a family philanthropic foundation, and getting citizenship in ADG's new kingdom (if taxes are low), all that is left to do is to buy a few toys.

Seems kinda wasted on me, but its a burden I'd gladly accept. Pleasecontinue to buy your weekly chances. My tailors need the money.

Toad

Can you have too much madras?

Catalogs are evil.

In these troubled times we need no more reminders of how stupid we can become armed with only a high speed internet connection and a credit card.

From the folks at Herrington I present the Sperry Madras Deck shoe. Available for big girls only. Other plaids and styles available. Slides anyone? $80.00

Check out the madras wellies while you're there too.

Toad

auberon waugh

''There are countless horrible things happening all over the country, and horrible people prospering but we must never allow them to disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to sabotage and annoy them whenever possible" Auberon Waugh

Thanks to Admiral Cod for the reminder.

Toad

Canned Pancakes, the finale

Just to prove that I can take it as well as dish it out, may I present my last word on canned pancakes.

With thanks to a regular reader I present this, batter blasters the story of how BB's came to be.

Toad