This one's for Mel.
I like lawyers, socially. They, for the most part, are reasonably bright, erudite, enthusiastic natural born storytellers. They are fine folks for sharing a cocktail with. I respect what they do yet prefer not to do business with them, leaving that to the fat cats.
This is from Manifold Destiny, and as soon as I saw it I sent it to my favorite attorney, scourge of Alabama, David Bagwell. He liked it, so maybe the barristers in your circle may as well. This order is from Judge Martin J. Sheehan of the Kenton Circuit Court in the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
"And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off of a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines than have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorney's madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory:
IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED AND ADJUDGED by the court as follows:
1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby CANCELLED."
I wanna buy Judge Sheehan a drink. Probably lives in a dry county though.