Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dominique? The last word.

Long time readers know that I was for a time somewhat besotted with Ms. Dominique Browning, formerly Editor of House and Garden Magazine's U.S. edition. On these pages I have promised to read telephone books if only she would write them. All to no avail.

In the mean time I have developed a trick, which may help some of you pass the lonely months without your favorite magazine. I'll share.

Each month, around the time the mail is deluged with incoming magazines, I go to my stash of old H&G's, gently retrieve a then current month's issue and respectfully insert the prior month into its protective plastic sleeve. Since my memory is not so great, what do I care if I am currently reading April 2001? It's all new to me. Next month might be May 2005. What do I care?

That said, I was surprised to get an email from Ms. Browning's people. In its entirety it said, "Toad, enuf already with your attacks on Ms. Browning. Go bother Julia Reed. Get over it. Any more and I'll sic our other people on you."

Harsh words, I thought, but I wouldn't let it go.

I wrote back, in my own inimitable way. "D, waz up?"

The Queen herself wrote back.

" God, I'm so glad that magazine thing is over. Me, an attractive single woman, in the prime of my life, surrounded by gay, yes men. I haven't seen daylight since I don't know when. Haven't seen a straight man in forever.

Since I was under contract when the magazine folded, our publisher, Mr. Newhouse graciously allowed me to become one of his personal assistants. The pay is good, but the conditions are a cross between Annie, and Cinderella. You can, for serious, pre-order my book covering the past year here, it will be released soon. Now, leave me alone!"

For those half dozen of you, who find this blog each day by Googling Dominique, this is my last word on this subject.

D? She ain't here. However, her blog may be found here.



ADG said...

I love her and she loves me. Back off.

Toad said...

Being closer and single means nothing.

Mrs. Blandings said...

My girl crush cannot compete with either of you dashing gentlemen.

katiedid said...

Thanks so much for the heads up! Mayer has a blog too, so I am starting to feel a little closer to normal since HG passed away.

DAM said...

Did you read the article in the NYTimes?