Sunday, July 26, 2009

Soul Storage

Your soul troubling you?

Might I suggest The Soul Storage Company . My initial suspicion was that this may have been a Maxminimus consulting project gone horribly wrong. Further research has shown that it's for real. Nonetheless, their state of the art soul extraction system will quickly and easily unburden you of your unwanted soul and its clinging desires and cares.

Satisfied clients describe soullessness as being lighter and more care free. Dark moods pass more quickly, earthly desires less intense. An ideal situation for most overstressed urbanites since your soul is not responsible for your actions when it's not with you.

Should you want your soul back it can easily be returned, although it's recommended that not do this more than 6 or 7 times a year.

Additionally, this being a full service organization, you can try on someone else's soul for a while. Rent one, rent yours out. (Safer and more profitable than selling blood on the Internet) They have many available, some in your area. Try several on, its OK.

Think of your soul as a timeshare. Take it when you want it, let someone else worry about it when you don't.



Mrs. Blandings said...

Furthering the pathos of the insecure, "What if no one wants my soul?"

Toad said...

A most excellant reason to store it, eh?

Mrs. Blandings said...

Or borrow another.

David said...

I've been able to achieve the same results (lighter and more carefree) laying on a pool raft drinking gin. Added benefit: healthy tan.

Toad said...

Daavid I'm jealous for your warmth and sun, neither of which are in Mayberry this summer.

Walter said...

The website is part of a campaign for Paul Giamatti's new movie Cold Souls.

ADG said...

Folks ... let me tell you .... if Medicare or your State Medicaid decides to reimburse caregivers for this'll see Soul Saving Clinics pop up on every street corner. Journals will beging publishing evidence based articles on why it is a moral imperative that everyone have access to this technology and that nobody should have to sacrifice one personal cent to partake.

Oy. Went on a rant there. Sorry.

Sartre said...

Saw the trailer for this movie last night, it looks amusing.