Remember I didn't say they were bad, they just aren't me.
Each day for the past 42 years, at one time or another, I have worn Topsiders boat shoes. Classic brown with white soles. They are my go to shoe. I'd change now, because...
I don't think the issue is really wearing them - it's keeping them. If you don't like them you won't wear them. Do you not want to wear them while they are in your closet? or at the warehouse?
I believe this round goes to Longwing. While I'd rather they stayed away, I can suck it up for a time or two. By then she will have forgotten about them, and I can lose them in the closet.
Mea Culpa but I just have to chime in here . . . not because of the shoes but due to the fact that you said you have returned all but 2 of the gifts she has ever given to you (if I comprehended what you wrote properly). This is certainly no way to make any relationship work. Manners, manners, manners . . . a gift is something you give/bestow upon another as a sign of affection. You should make every effort to find a way to embrace the gift if you love the person who gave it to you. Additionally, and this is where I always get into trouble since I NEVER provide wish lists nor do I ever give $ or gift cards (unless there is no other option) - and that is, that the person who is giving the gift should select a gift that the receiver would enjoy, not the person giving the gift. It appears that Mrs. Toad would prefer a slightly different wardrobe - which she may be best at doing while out shopping together or browsing through some magazines or catalogues. Sorry, this is a personal subject and I was raised on strict rules regarding gifts, never forgetting a gift exchange even if the family relationships are strained and always on time (it is not like the B-day & holiday dates change from year to year). Anyways, as for the shoes, if you wear them with white soles usually but these have brown/tan soles - I'll have to say wear them. You will make her so happy and you may actually like them.
Anon you read correctly. Frankly, I would rather return something that has no chance of ever being worn, and replace it with something I may actually enjoy.
Her impeccable taste does not jive with my own, and I am either unwilling or more likely too bull headed to change, and in my heart of heart I feel that she knows as she's walking to the cash register that she will be back in several days. It's got to be a joke of some kind, that I'm not getting, otherwise you would think she would tire of the game.
Periodically she'll comment on something I'm wearing and I'll mention she got me that last Christmas, birthday....
Sorry to be so late to the party. I take it very personally if a gift I've given isn't appreciated. Tensions eased considerably when I finally got the message, however lovingly delivered, "Please don't buy me any more clothing." Doesn't stop me from commenting (or even complimenting), but it does keep things simpler. I don't buy his clothes.
That's my shoes. I know that you like the white soles but give me amaretto with honey soles any day. In fact, I wear mine everyday. I'm about due for a new pair though.
An irregular conversation about what's on my mind, observations on human nature, the decline of civility, and the ways men and women see the world differently.
11 comments:
My advice: Wear 'em. They're not bad and your wife seems determined. You can hand her a small victory or a huge defeat. It's up to you.
You shouldn't change Toad.
I don't think the issue is really wearing them - it's keeping them. If you don't like them you won't wear them. Do you not want to wear them while they are in your closet? or at the warehouse?
I believe this round goes to Longwing. While I'd rather they stayed away, I can suck it up for a time or two. By then she will have forgotten about them, and I can lose them in the closet.
But you DO want THESE shoes, with the white sole, tell her.
Compromise - she chose the shoe, you choose the sole.
Would your wife wear shoes you chose/bought her?
Shoes/boots/handbags/wallets nice as gifts, IF chosen by the user.
Toad....forgive me buddy. I recind my previous comment. I'm the LAST guy who can provide any credible advice on spousal harmony.
Onward.
ADG
I'm with Longwing on this one: if occasionally sporting the less-than-ideal shoes will buy marital harmony, it's a small price to pay.
Besides, all boat shoes are ugly at first: a few applications of the salt-water-and-sunlight treatment and they should start to look a lot better.
Or, failing that, back the Rolls over 'em a couple of times.
EGF
Good Evening Toad,
Mea Culpa but I just have to chime in here . . . not because of the shoes but due to the fact that you said you have returned all but 2 of the gifts she has ever given to you (if I comprehended what you wrote properly). This is certainly no way to make any relationship work. Manners, manners, manners . . .
a gift is something you give/bestow upon another as a sign of affection. You should make every effort to find a way to embrace the gift if you love the person who gave it to you. Additionally, and this is where I always get into trouble since I NEVER provide wish lists nor do I ever give $ or gift cards (unless there is no other option) - and that is, that the person who is giving the gift should select a gift that the receiver would enjoy, not the person giving the gift. It appears that Mrs. Toad would prefer a slightly different wardrobe - which she may be best at doing while out shopping together or browsing through some magazines or catalogues. Sorry, this is a personal subject and I was raised on strict rules regarding gifts, never forgetting a gift exchange even if the family relationships are strained and always on time (it is not like the B-day & holiday dates change from year to year). Anyways, as for the shoes, if you wear them with white soles usually but these have brown/tan soles - I'll have to say wear them. You will make her so happy and you may actually like them.
Anon you read correctly. Frankly, I would rather return something that has no chance of ever being worn, and replace it with something I may actually enjoy.
Her impeccable taste does not jive with my own, and I am either unwilling or more likely too bull headed to change, and in my heart of heart I feel that she knows as she's walking to the cash register that she will be back in several days. It's got to be a joke of some kind, that I'm not getting, otherwise you would think she would tire of the game.
Periodically she'll comment on something I'm wearing and I'll mention she got me that last Christmas, birthday....
Sorry to be so late to the party. I take it very personally if a gift I've given isn't appreciated. Tensions eased considerably when I finally got the message, however lovingly delivered, "Please don't buy me any more clothing." Doesn't stop me from commenting (or even complimenting), but it does keep things simpler. I don't buy his clothes.
That's my shoes. I know that you like the white soles but give me amaretto with honey soles any day. In fact, I wear mine everyday. I'm about due for a new pair though.
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