Robert E Lee

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

II Timothy 4:7

Family hagiography leads one to believe that my father's family left Virginia twice, each time hoping to make their fortune in the west.  My mother's tribe arrive 50 years later escaping civil war in their own back yard.  During our Civil War, Eastern Missourians celebrated whatever uniform was outside their door that day.  I truly have no dog in this fight, all I have is a fertile imagination.

General  Lee surrendered his troops on Sunday, April 9, 1865, Palm Sunday.  Late the following Saturday, Holy Saturday, along with his son and staff, through a driving, cold rain, while soaked to the skin, Lee arrived home in burned out Richmond.  Home was now the rented house where his crippled wife and his daughters waited. The war over, his future uncertain, Lincoln died earlier that morning.  Imagine Lee, arriving home from war and closing the door on the prior 4 years.

Easter services in Richmond were canceled that year.

Happy Birthday General.

Toad

Happy Poe Day

Who knew Milne and Poe were so closely connected?
Toad

A.A. Milne

Laying around for the past several weeks I've amused myself by re-reading much of the AA Milne canon. How could I not love the creator of the play Toad of Toad Hall and his friends, Pooh, Piglet and Eeyore.  They are good companions when you don't feel well.

Like all successful children's writers Milne wrote on multiple levels of humor and wisdom.  On what would be Alan's birthday let's take a look at some favorite bits of Milne wisdom.





“One does not argue about The Wind in the Willows. The young man gives it to the girl with whom he is in love, and, if she does not like it, asks her to return his letters. The older man tries it on his nephew, and alters his will accordingly. The book is a test of character. We can't criticize it, because it is criticizing us. But I must give you one word of warning. When you sit down to it, don't be so ridiculous as to suppose that you are sitting in judgment on my taste, or on the art of Kenneth Grahame. You are merely sitting in judgment on yourself. You may be worthy: I don't know, But it is you who are on trial.” 

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” 


“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." Winnie the Pooh” 

“The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.” 

“I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” 

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.” 

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?” 

“What day is it?"
It's today," squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day," said Pooh.” 

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.” 

Happy birthday Mr. Milne

Toad

Cool Guy- Muhammad Ali

He was simultaneously the most reviled and most revered sportsman in America.  The living embodiment of a n all-American Horatio Alger rags to riches, you can be whatever you can achieve in America story while at the same time misunderstood and vilified for his religious beliefs and his very public stand against racism in the US and the Vietnam war.  Still, he was the greatest boxer ever.

Since his retirement from boxing and the onset of Parkinson's disease Ali has dedicated his life to promoting social causes, especially those focused on children and the Muhammad Ali Foundation located in Louisville which focuses on peace and and social responsibility.

By his autobiography he described himself as "the greatest, not the smartest."

Toad  

For the first time in 2013 I spent time outside yesterday.  I think I'll live, and by doing so may I offer hope to all who are suffering.  This too shall pass.

Mrs. T's Anniversary

It wouldn't be out of line to wonder why, in Mayberry, 2 otherwise sensible people would marry on the the Ides of January.  The wedding day itself may have passable weather, but you set yourself up for a lifetime of dreary, cold, and inclement anniversaries.  And so we have.

I take full responsibility for the January decision.  My bride to be wanted to be married in the fall, but several important cogs in our wheel were not available.  I however, wanted to make certain my bride was Y2K compatible (that was important in those days). She offered no prior assurances, saying only that things would work out, "you'll see" she said repeatedly.   She wasn't Y2K compatible and knew it, while I still wait to see how things will work out.  Two or 3 times each week I'm likely to hear "I told you things would work out", to which I reply "ya, but you never said when", and so it goes.  Still, I am the happiest married man ever.

Today's anniversary, like all others is Mrs. T's anniversary. I'm blessed beyond measure simply to circle in her orbit, it's her universe and I'm joyously along for the ride.  I've said before and I repeat today, I did not marry my best friend, she does not complete me, she is not my soul mate. She does however make us "we", and together we are indomitable.  I love her madly. 

Thank you love for our wonderful life together, and yes, I'll sign up for at least another year.

Toad

Bentley Boys

In the late 1920's Bentley Motors decided the best way to advertise their very expensive sports cars was to build successful race cars. Half of the strategy worked.  During the later half of the 1920's Bentley dominated European race tracks, most especially the 24 hour race at Le Mans.

Piloting the cars were a collection of wealth and stylish young toffs known throughout the ages as the Bentley Boys. The two men above, Capt. Sir Tim Berkin and Captain Woolf Barnato were the most successful Bentley Boys winning LeMans 4 times.

The caption on the photo says it was taken 15 minutes before the start of the 1929 race.  The photo below taken moments later shows Woolf in his racing helmet. At the track they changed into overalls, Birkin adding his helmet and trademark blue and white polka dot scarf.  

They won the race.



Toad

Boyz and Beer- snow edition

Resourceful kids will always find ways to have fun. As long as no one gets seriously hurt, anything can be fun.  The trouble comes when pain exceeds the fun quotient.  In our house its known as the Boys and Beer or in this case Vodka phenomena.

Undoubtedly, tomboy Scout was part inspiration for Zorb, a large transparent ball which holds one or 2 people.  Like all balls it is meant to roll, and like Scout, a Zorb passenger is simply along for the ride.  In the park its a world of fun.  Add beer and watch the fun escalate.

Zorb comes into its own on ski slopes.  Find a Zorb, enclose two drunks and push. Zorbing is so popular in Russia that it has become one of the symbols for next year's winter Olympics. There was a You Tube video (since removed) showing 2 guys in a Zorb being pushed down hill at a Russian ski resort.  All was fun and games until Zorb rolled off a cliff. A mile later...  (You may sing a verse of the children's classic "2 little monkeys jumping on a bed...now)

Natch, Zorb's people distanced themselves quickly from the tragedy.  After a long speech on how things should be done the local ZORB rep had this to say “It's not even irresponsibility. It's an experiment on life,” Loginov said. “It's all or nothing. They either survive or they don't.” 

Zorb Inc says:
 "This tragedy was committed by an illegal operator who has no association with ZORB, and was not known to ZORB," the company said in a statement. "The equipment was not manufactured by ZORB. The lack of proper berms to stop globes is absolutely prohibited by ZORB. Operating in mountainous, rocky and snow conditions is very dangerous."

Mrs. T's middle kid lives in the mountains.  He has spent the day ZORB shopping, his mother is in a dither.

Toad

Uxbridge Dictionary

I came of age during the heyday of The Rocky and Bullwinkle show, waiting anxiously for this week's Fractured Fairy Tales. The Fractured Fairy Tales recreated many of childhood's best loved fairy tales often with a twist you saw coming from the opening line, and would have been sorely disappointed at any other conclusion. The Tales operated on multiple levels of absurdity, each highlighted by the inimitable voice of Edward Everett Horton. I owe FFT creator A. J. Jacobs many thanks for leading me down the path less traveled, seeking the odd unusual and absurd in most everything.

My long suffering family indulges my longing for the odd by frequently gifting unusual dictionaries. For Christmas this year I received The New Uxbridge English Dictionary,18th Edition (precisely) Comprehensively Reviled: the dictionary which contains words soon to be used in a Major Motion Picture.

The Uxbridge which now lives along such classics as The Devil's Dictionary, The American Heretic's dictionary, Deeper Meaning of Liff, More Deeper, et al. includes redefined words such as

Chinchilla: air conditioned beard.
Benign: what it will be after 8.
Chiropractice: getting ready to go to Egypt
Hailstone: formal greeting for Sir. Mick.
Magistrate: Madge isn't a lesbian.

Need more? I've got a million of 'em, or better yet try it on line.

Toad

Two Icons

He hated being called the King. His gospel roots rebelled at the notion, all he wanted was to be known as the entertainer. No one listened.  Born in 1935, recorded his first song That's All Right in 1954, played his first New York concert in 1972.  In a career that spanned 23 years he recorded over 600 songs, not a one did he write.

Played the Grand Ole Opry once, in 1954, was told to go home and resume his truck driving career. Despite many later invites Elvis never returned.  Unbelievably, he played only 5 concerts outside the US, ever.

Singer Barry White claims him as his inspiration to become a singer.  In 1961, while rotting in jail for stealing tires, White heard "It's now or never". Claims it turned his life around.

It is alleged that The Entertainer was putting away 90,000 calories per day at the end. Should you find yourself sick in bed today, TCM is playing his movies all day. There are worse ways to recover.

Around the time the Entertainer fell from grace, the mantle of King of the Universe was picked up by today's other birthday boy, the 66 year old Ziggy Stardust.  The years have been good to David, god is he gorgeous.

Bowie along with much of then modern "culture" was easy to dismiss in the mid 70's.  It was only later when you paid attention to what was in your IPOD that you noticed just how much Bowie was part of the soundtrack to your life. You tend to forget how good some of his stuff really was. Most of it he wrote.

To look at him you'd doubt he's consumed 90,000 calories ever.

Happy Birthday gents and thank you

Toad

Charles Addams Bd

From: the Charles Addams Foundation

Today would be the 101st. birthday of cartoonist Charles Addams, the creator of the The Addams Family.  Popular illustrators tend to develop personas.  While anonymous to the general public, the cartoonists fans come to believe that what they see is who the artists is.  Rarely, do the man and the myth intersect.

Coming across Addams' macabre drawings while thumbing through old issues of the New Yorker you could easily get the sense the artist lived on the top floor of an asylum. For years stories abounded of how he was carried off to Bedlam, furiously sketching his best known works.  Never happened.

Much of his work was oddly sweet, all of it was funny, yet it was the ghoulish macabre stuff that sold the books and created the reputation.

As it turned out he was a lover of classic cars, something of a ladies man, a curious guy with an odd kick for the absurd, a self described Uncle Fester.  In 1988 Addams had a heart attack and died in his parked car. His wife told the Times "He's always been a car buff, so it was a nice way to go."

Check your local library for a copy of Charles Addams, A Cartoonists Life by Linda H. Davis.

Toad

Look at his eyes

I change my computer background photo almost every day, but for the past three weeks this has been in place.  I'm mesmerized by a photo of 3 men taken early in WWII.  The airman on the left is cipher, on the right a Canadian flight sergeant,  it's the squadron leader in his Mae West life preserver, dead center which holds my gaze.  Look at his eyes.

Perhaps all of 25, became squadron leader through attrition and because he attended college, at least for a while, he also fit within the tight confines of a British warplane. Likely as not none of these men survived the war. Look at his eyes and you begin to wonder if dying may have become welcome.  These brave men saved the Empire in spite of their former king.

For a great story of the Battle of Britain Memorial Flights latest Spitfire resurrection follow the link to  Eclectic Ephemera

J Peterman has dropped the hammer on squadron leaders scarf.  It's $50 this weekend, it was $119. Believing they would never drop the price to a level I was willing to pay I purchased an alternative yesterday. Having acted in haste I am now repenting at leisure.

Toad

Weird Books or a Killer idea

Have a few minutes to kill? It may change your life.  Many if not most of you are familiar with Abe's Books, the ubiquitous internet cataloger of available stock hidden within the world's independent bookstores.  Scratch the surface a bit and you'll uncover The Weird Book Room a compendium of the greatest hits in publishing.

I've been composing imaginary shopping lists from the available titles.  For instance what young man's library wouldn't benefit from such works as:
C is for Chafing 
All About Pockets
Lumber Jack songs with yodel arrangements
How to Avoid Huge Ships
Wood Nymph seeks Centaur
How to Date a White Woman 
Dating for Under a Dollar ?

Or perhaps:
Liberace, your personal fashion consultant 
Crafting with Cat Hair
How to make your own shoes  

I'd build bookshelves if necessary to include:
How to be Happy Though Married
A New Look at Wife Swapping
Teach your wife to be a Widow
How to Disappear
How to start your own country

Imagine what a copy of Electricity in Gynecology on the nightstand might do for a flagging relationship.

TV shows have been created using less fodder for inspiration than Abe provides on a few short pages. Create your own book list, invent a concept, or better a reality series, sell to Merv, remember you heard it here first.

Toad

PS I actually own several books shown on Abe's Weird Book page.  I didn't find that weird until now.

Taking the Cure

We have a routine around our house.  Whenever Mrs. T is sick, she climbs into bed, neatly arranges her pillows, puts the house phone, her cell phone and the TIVO remote within easy reach, and expects to be waited on continuously until she announces she's cured.  I've never seen her take so much as an aspirin.  Naturally, since we disagree about every unimportant thing, when I'm under the weather, put me in a dark room, with a dog or two by my side, AND LEAVE ME ALONE. I'll emerge when I'm hungry and announce that I'm well.

The only drawback to our curatives is when we each become sick at the same time.  Like now for instance.

I adore my bride (in sickness and in health) and I'm happy to wait on her hand and foot, fluff her pillows, serve her meals at any time, except.   

Having spent the past 3 days under cover has allowed time to ruminate on ways an enterprising someone could make a quick one on the backs of the sick.  I offer my best one freely to the world. I hope you can use it.

 Every hotel has a block of rooms that no one would willingly stay in.  Could be they are cramped, there is a landfill view, or...  Supposed the hotelier offered these special rooms (in season, and at a substantial premium) to the sick.  Hotels offer everything a sick person wants.  Better TV channels than you have at home, 24 hour room service, along with a maid or butler for frequent reassurances of a speedy recovery, or just to fluff.

Toad

Happy 2013 and a new resolution

from Hoodoo That Voodoo.tumblr.com

I'm not going to do it.  You can't make me. I refuse.  I won't.

Each year on this day I offer the greatest New Year's resolution and make it available for you to claim as your very own.  It's powerful, it's inexpensive, it will change your life.  It's o easy that no one does it, which is a shame. If you are new here, and/ or curious you can find it here.  I still recommend it. Sorry about the missing photo. I accidently deleted my blog photo file once upon a time.

What I will do is offer each and all my new resolution.  Work this year to enjoy yourself more.  One of the most frequent regrets of the dying is that they worked too hard on stuff that was ultimately BS, and didn't pay enough attention to their spouse, their children, their family and their communities. Turn off your  smartphone and home computer until the kids go to bed.  You'll survive.

Finally, Happy Birthday Mary.  The party was Sunday, her big day yesterday. It was a wonderful experience, even better if you waited for the 90+ yo's to clear the parking lot before you. Quite a few are still driving.

Happy 2013, thanks for sharing it will us.

Toad

Hogmany 2012

As Barry Manilow sang, it looks like we've made it.  We've lived to celebrate Hogmany once again.

Hogmany is the Scottish end of the year celebration.  Hogmany it's a party, it's fun, so is obviously not of Scottish origin.  Most likely, wandering Norse tour guides searching for warmer winters happened upon the south of Scotland not long after a winter solstice. Believing they were in Miami, the Norse donned masks to protect their fair skin from the harsh Florida sun and took to drink.  Masks, drink....lasses. Word got back home and the annual migration and bacchanal became custom. Never did figure out they weren't in the US.

The festival is as ancient as the hills.  While custom and tradition have evolved, Hogmany celebrations derive from human's need to occasionally let loose.  Deep within the DNA of humans everywhere is the need to break the solitude of the cold months, restoring mental health to those who live close to the land.  The Church of Scotland, which for over 400 years gave Christmas celebrations a miss, reluctantly turned a blind eye to a holiday celebrated on a state holiday.  



My family, a bit to the west of Scotland, didn't need such a flimsy excuse to celebrate.  They partied just because.  The masks, drink...lasses were a lagniappe.

Celebrate hard my friends, you've earned it,  we'll leave the light on for ya.  AND WATCH FOR DEER!!!!!!

Happy end of 2M12 and welcome 2M13.

Toad

Friday night fun

Friday night was the highlight of the Mayberry social season.  The Veiled Prophet once again returned to town with the Queen of Love and Beauty and her court.  The debutante season is now in full flower.

Mrs. T and I celebrated by spending the night with our 3 young charges while their parents partied.

and their little bro Joe.  We had the better time.


Toad

Send Santa the bill

One of the givens in life is that the farther responsibility for payment lands from the buyer of a product or service the higher the final cost will be.  A quick call to our insurance company assured me that Santa was at fault for running his reindeer into our car, and whatever the damage, they'd pay. "Just tell us where to send the check" were the claims adjuster's final words.  

I certainly don't recommend that you attempt this at home, so take my word that vehicular damage from hitting a deer at speed is often catastrophic.  Ours wasn't, for which I am eternally grateful. The photos show the visible damage.  Purists can add at least a front wheel alignment to the mix.

We cracked a headlight, bent the hood, have a dent in driver's side fender, and have half a barrel of deer feathers stuck in every seam on the left side of the car.

If I were footing the bill, I'd likely cry a tear or two, utter an oath, and ignore the damage. After visiting the body shop I'm more likely to say "here is an estimate for $3000, send the check to me."  What a sick world.

Toad

Christmas miracle 2012 edition

I prefer to celebrate Christmas on Santa's good boy list, while knowing who and where the bad girls on the list are. This year, I began the day on the good list and ended on the bad.  How do you tell Santa you're sorry?  

As a rule of thumb I dislike taxidermy that hasn't been dispatched by the family displaying  it. However, if you've gone to all the trouble and want  a trophy go for it.  In my case, I can't and there's my story.    

After too much Christmas eve cheer, Mrs. T and I arose at 4:30 AM Christmas morning to get my daughter to the airport in time for her 6 AM flight home. The drive was sad, but otherwise uneventful, until when almost home, we met up with Santa returning to the North Pole.  He was as surprised to see us as we him,  until I put a fender upside the backside of one of Santa's famous hitch. 

Mayberry's roadsides are littered with the detritus of mangled cars who've died while battling our giant deer population. Likewise there is steady work for the dead animal removal guy.  We were fortunate that only the car was damaged (barely), Dasher (fatally) and us, not at all.  We drove home with a few new dents and a cracked headlight.  

After a brief nap I wanted to return to the scene and field dress the beast to be able to mount the head but Mrs. T intervened.  She warned the sight of me field dressing one of Santa's team while families passed on their way to church would be shocking, and that having Santa finding Dasher, mounted above the stockings hung with care annually, would jeopardize the whole family's haul.    

I trust your holiday was safer.

Toad

Happy Birthday Dad

Merry Merry

For those looking for something special, I offer this from the vaults.





From our house to yours Merry Christmas,

Toad and Mrs. T

Let us give thanks

Now is my favorite part of the holidays. I love the pre-christmas gathering of the clan, filling up our drafty old house with love, laughter, warmth and the good smells of cooking and baking. A full house makes repeated trips over the river and through the woods to the airport and grocery feel more like adventures than chores. If only it would snow.

This year we've a gained new holiday tradition. #2 son's better half is a Somerset girl. The greatest mince pies I've ever experienced have come from Somerset kitchens. The champion of years past was a dear friend who farms near Taunton. Too bad for him, his pies while forever welcome, are now a distant second place finisher (he took the news stoically) to those from Finn, our new found buddy of the year and his lovely mother (and sisters).

Should you find yourself near Mayberry, of course you are always welcome, but most especially you are invited Monday evening for our annual holiday feast. If you cannot make it this year, we shall remember you in our toast to absent friends. Hopefully, if not this, then next year.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve to each and all, you being here each day is my favorite holiday gift.

Toad

Centennial

We received an invitation this week to attend Mary's birthday party. Mary is a lifelong friend of Mrs. T, and I fell in love with her the moment we met. She hails from Irish stock and could easily be hidden in family photos of my mother and her 4 sisters. Each time I see her I do a double take, forgetting for an instant that she is not my mother.

Can you imagine living to 100 years old? 100 once seemed so old, but Mary is in good health, is optimistic, has few daily life stresses and very little peer pressure. She expects to live many more years and I believe she will. I hope so anyway I enjoy her birthday parties too much.

Until then Happy Solstice. The dark days are over, light the yule log.

Toad

Odds without Ends

"IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." - Jane Austin, Pride and Prejudice

On this date in 1820 - The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. The tax was $1 a year. Not unusually, the tax continues to this day, but now it includes women as well and is likely greater than one dollar.  Today they call it "checking the single" box on your tax return.

II.  Perhaps you recall the Christmas eve tradition of the US Air Force's  NORAD (North American Aerospace Command) tracking Santa's journey around the world.  Begun by accident, when a department store printed NORAD's telephone number in a Christmas ad, suggesting you could call to track Santa's progress.  The one child who called was greeted by an airman who played along.  Today, some 1250 Canadian and US volunteers man the phones at 877-HI-NORAD.  

Since 2007 NORAD has partnered with Google Earth to post Santa's movements on-line.  All was well and good until Google decided to go their own way.  Google will now track Santa at Santatracker.  NORAD has now moved to Bing.  You can find Santa via the US Air Force here.

III.  Sometimes a news story leaves me scratching my head.  Yesterday, The St. Louis Post Dispatch reported that a University of  Missouri freshman football player was arrested on suspicion of possessing fewer than 35 grams of marijuana, and subsequently was resigned from the team, perhaps to play in Colorado.  According to the Post he was arrested in November for the same offense and fined $200.

A university police spokesman said "the department received a report of a marijuana odor coming from the suspect's room. The suspect told officers he did not have marijuana and would not allow them to search his room.  After obtaining a search warrant, officers returned and arrested the suspect."  (I've replaced the perp's name with "suspect")

Did the suspect truly believe that telling the cops that he was fresh out of smoke and not receiving visitors at that time would end the matter? Why didn't he move his stash elsewhere while waiting for the cops anticipated return? What I find most troubling is did someone in the athletes dorm rat him out?  Matters like this are generally dealt with amicably in-house.

IV. As you are well aware I am not a sports fan, but I find watching the suicide of the National Hockey league compelling.  League management early in the fall touted how last year the league's teams earned US $3.3 billion.  Left unsaid was that 85% of that went to 3 teams, NHL hockey is unlikely this season.

Canadian Broadcasting reported yesterday that surveys in Canada showed that 1/3 of those questioned were still passionate about hockey, 1/3 indifferent and 1/3 have lost interest entirely. I believe that the maximum total US interest lies in 8,000 people in each city with a team.

V. Finally and apropos to nothing, I'm really PO'ed at Lowes.  Thanksgiving weekend I bought a Christmas present from Lowes which they promised to ship the following week, getting to it's intended destination well before Christmas.  Three times they have called me to tell me it's ready for pick up.  Each call was a lie.

The product won't reach the store until mid February.  And I thought I was ahead of the game.

Toad

The Best of Christmas Quotes

by We Heart it.com

I was catching up on world events traipsing English language newspapers around the globe and came across a compendium of the 30 best Christmas quotes in the Telegraph.  I think they missed a few, demonstrated by Ralphie's noticeable absence, but over all the list is pretty good.  Below are several of my favorites.  The rest can be found by following the link. Can you guess who said what?

"Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more."

One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.

Santa Clause has the right idea. Only visit people once a year.

'Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't, and that's cool. But we're probably right. Amen.'

’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house/Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.'

'And girls in slacks remember Dad/And oafish louts remember Mum/And sleepless children’s hearts are glad/And Christmas-morning bells say ‘Come!’

'The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.'

'I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.'

'Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it white.'

'The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.'

'There ain't no Sanity Clause!'

'Always winter but never Christmas.'

'Christmas time! That man must be a misanthrope indeed, in whose breast something like a jovial feeling is not roused - in whose mind some pleasant associations are not awakened - by the recurrence of Christmas.'

'Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.'

'Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.'

Toad

A Child's Christmas in Wales

Christmas is not my favorite holiday, it's Mrs. T's. I'm not quite Ebeneezer, but I'm easily put off the holiday by inconsequential things. To get me out of my pre-holiday funk, my bride sent me off to visit one of the mid level circles of hell- the mall- with instructions not to return until I shaped up. My heart and good thoughts go out to all who suffer to wait upon our every whim by working retail during this festive season. No one should be made to endure what retail clerks must.

Of course Mrs. T was right. I did come around and I am now enthused with the spirit of the holidays. Christmas isn't about the stuff, it's about memories. Finally, I'm learning to be mindful of the new holiday memories and traditions I create for my loved ones.

I am a sucker though for the memories of my youth. Readings of Dylan Thomas's A Child's Christmas in Wales along with Dicken's A Christmas Carol are essential. I hope you like Mr. Thomas's recitation.


Dylan Thomas - A Child's Christmas In Wales by poetictouch

Toad

Apparently, it is OK to drop your computer. The trick is to not have it land. I didn't know that earlier, I do now.

So my beloved Toshiba is back home, and I shall return later in the day. Kindle's make for great readers, but are poor blogging tools.

Toad

7th night

Shalom

6th night

"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!"

Shalom

5th night

The 5th night of Chanukah is known as the darkest night. Why, because it never falls on Shabbat.

Shalom

4th night

Blessed are you, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, Who sanctified us by his commandments, and has commanded us to kindle the lights of Hanukah.

Blessed are you, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe,
Who wrought miracles for our fathers in days of old, at this season.


Shalom

The Raven

In an attempt to break the cycle of HO HO HO I offer something different, a touch of poetry.  Admit it, you haven't read this poem since high school, although it's surprisingly seasonal though, if December is a season.

Toad 

The Raven

[First published in 1845]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -

Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -

This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -

Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -

'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.

Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -

Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -

Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -

On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'

Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -

Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore

Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,

But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee

Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -

Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -

On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -

Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -

`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Edgar Allen Poe

third night

Blessed are you, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, Who sanctified us by his commandments, and has commanded us to kindle the lights of Hanukah.

Blessed are you, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe,
Who wrought miracles for our fathers in days of old, at this season.


Shalom

Holiday Gifts

The most important element necessary for any tradition to flower is repetition. We celebrate annual events each year the same way we always have. Over time the repetition becomes codified, and any deviance from the norm is dealt with. Imagine the December holiday season without multiple airings of Frosty, or the Christmas Carol.

Harder still is to imagine a holiday season without airing reruns of my favorite holiday posts. In real life its called regifting. I hope you this one makes you smile.



Happy Holidays
Toad

2nd night

First Blessing over the lighting of the candle...
Blessed are you O L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who has sanctified us through His commandments and commanded us to kindle the Chanukah lights.

Second Blessing in remembrance of the miracles...
Blessed are you O L-rd our G-d, King of the universe, who brought miracles for our ancestors, in those days at this time {of year}.

Shalom

Merry Sunday

Toad

First night of Chanukah

From our house to yours, Happy Chanukah.
Shalom,
Toad

Bomb Sight Project

London, England

As a follow up to Pearl Harbor Day, today we travel to London, specifically to the blitz-7 October 1940 until 6 June 1941, to understand the work of the Bomb Sight Project.  The Bomb Sight Project has created an interactive map and Android app showing the location of every known German bomb to hit in London during the 8 month siege.

red marks show bomb hits in London during Blitz

The interactivity allows searches by street, by borough, by type of bomb. During the the 8 months of the blitz thousands of citizens were killed and over 1,000,000 homes destroyed.  Living in the Tube became a nightly occurrence.

Imperial War Museum photo

Seeing the effects of the bombing seventy years on is still incredibly moving. 

Toad

Take a moment to remember John Lennon who died on this date.  

Odds and Ends

Pearl Harbor Day

American's are great for remembering slogans;  Remember the Alamo, the Maine, the World Trade Center, yet we often, too soon after,  forget the why of what we are supposed to be remembering.  By now many have forgotten that today is Pearl Harbor Day, "a day that will live in infamy".  The 2 hour raid on the US Navy's Pacific fleet headquarters caused the deaths of 2335 servicemen with another 1143 wounded.


Denny's is the real deal! 

The southern US has a somewhat deserved reputation for culinary decadence. Locals believe that if the food isn't brown, hasn't been fried or served in large quantity it isn't worth eating.  Many of our ubiquitous franchised fast food chains hail from the land of huge/fried, including Denny's, which calls Spartanburg, S.C. home.

Denny's occasionally gets a bad rap for customer service but are working hard to embrace diversity.  To assist their effort to connect with everyone, everywhere they have opened a new flagship store in Las Vegas.   " The diner chain’s newest location will feature a photo booth in which vacationers and locals can pose with trademark Denny’s products. Those photos can be shared instantly on Facebook and Twitter."  Nothing says vacation like a Denny photo.

“We wanted to create a unique experience,” a spokesman said. “We have a lot of interactive features and a lot of things that make this location even more fun.

"For example, the diner has a full cocktail bar. The bar serves, among other items, a bacon-flavored martini.

"In addition, the location has some other only-in-Vegas features, including a wedding chapel. “It’s quite a unique experience... couples can get a cake made out of Denny’s pancake puppies to make their ceremony extra special.

"The new store also has Elvis-themed menu items like King Stack — pancakes with bananas, bacon and peanut butter — and the King Milkshake, featuring the same three ingredients."

If I'm lying I'm dying.

Holiday Shopping

While kicking the tires at the mall I came across "The Gold King" which is billed as "the world's fastest corkscrew".  Perhaps it's a sign of the times, but is knocking off a second or two opening a  bottle of wine really of benefit?

And Finally

From Vanity Fair, and I can't tell it any better than they did.

Toad

Who says Canadians aren't fun?

Just in time for the holidays, as a promotional gimmick Pizza Hut Canada has created a unique cologne, sure to be a hit.  According to the Globe and Mail the new, as yet unnamed scent "smells like fresh dough with a bit of spice." What gal wouldn't want to smell like a pizza box?

Toad

Hoxton Street Monster Supply

Sadly I found this too late for Halloween shopping but Hoxton Street Monster Supplies has reopened in London and now offers a full range of holiday items for a most discerning clientele.  It's always beneficial to maintain a supply of  tinned fear in your anxiety closet.

Hoxton Street Monster Supply offer a full range of products including impacted earwax, Bah Humbugs as well as the combo pack of various night terrors.  The web site  maintains that they ship only within the UK, and that they refuse magic beans and human sacrifice in lieu of monetary payment.  I suggest the website lies and for money they'll ship anywhere but don't quote me on that.

Ten minutes here and my holiday shopping would be over.
Toad

Bronies?

Perhaps you grew up with My Little Pony, maybe your kids did, or you may be among the fortunate few have no idea what I'm talking about. Created in the early '80's, My Little Pony was a line of toy ponies aimed at very young girls. MLP morphed into a television cartoon series of sweet morality tales aimed at those same young girls. The cartoons sold a lot of horses, and died well after its prime.

Since little risk is involved reselling old ideas, and there is always a risk in creating something new, the infotainment establishment recycled My Little Pony with truly horrific consequences i.e. "The Bronie."  Exploring the highways and bi-ways of holiday cheer, I encountered a corral of adult males sporting holiday My Little Pony wear. I had to ask. "We are bronies" came the reply. Bronies or Boy (adult) My Little Pony fans is the latest big thing for the demographic living in mom's basement.

I'm not here to judge, only to alert.

Toad