Monday, June 13, 2011

The Other Cure


In life there are few chances to grab for the brass ring so when opportunity knocks you gotta make it count. I've had a solid, genuine, fortune earning observation over the weekend, but haven't a clue how to turn it into gold. Maybe with your help...


In an effort to drum up business, our local PBS station broadcast Eric Clapton's 2010 Crossroads Guitar Festival film. About half way through I had this incredible insight.

Rock and Roll guitarists don't go bald, don't have thinning hair, they exhibit no signs of MPB. I credit, as Dr. Phil would diagnose, metal toxicity. A life time of rubbing your fingers on steel guitar strings obviously keeps hair fresh and young.

To wit: Clapton, Jeff Beck, Ronnie Wood, all the other Stones, Albert Lee, Steve Winwood, Dylan, The Monkees, McCartney, Bruce, each and every one fully folicled. Sheryl Crow too. Picture your favorite band. Not a guitarist comb over in sight. Balding rockers are the exception. Defies probability.

Certainly there is no shame in baldingness. I'm a survivor myself, but judging from the late night television commercials, there is a pot of gold awaiting whomever cures baldness. Entire treasuries more if we relieve the sufferings of women with thinning locks.


I can visualize the infomercial now, "But Wait..." Just can't picture the product.

Toad

3 comments:

Flo said...

"I've had a solid, genuine, fortune earning observation...with your help"

I love to be helpful. Remember my contribution when you take the company public.

"Rock and Roll guitarists don't go bald, don't have thinning hair, they exhibit no signs of MPB."

Peter Frampton.

I just don't want you to offer a money back guarantee without a disclaimer of some kind, just narrow the success rate to 90%. I'll also offer Keith Richards, that headband is not to catch sweat. What do you think now, 80% success rate? If David Crosby and Stephen Stills are folk guitarists [rather than rock and roll guitarists], then 80% might be the magic number.

Am I fired?

Toad said...

No Flo, I still have to account for Pete Townsend and a couple of country boys. Still it's not a large number.

Jane Kilpatrick Schott said...

I just got finished watching Clapton and Joe Bonamassa at the Royal Albert Hall and yes, they both had nice heads of hair.
that Clapton got it in spades in the line up for best hair in Rock and Ross from me.