Friday, April 2, 2010

The White Shoe Rule and "Straw Hat Day"


Much has been written lately about what is and what isn't appropriate Easter attire. Easter is early this year, and the weather may be iffy. It's a fair question.

Last year, Duck, remember Duck, copied this article from the blog "Southern Culture" and posted it on Channeling Bunny. Southern Culture has since taken the link down.

I wrote the author, Fairhope, Alabama attorney David A. Bagwell for permission to republish his work. Ever the gentleman, Mr. Bagwell gave his kind consent.

This boys and girls, is the definitive White Shoe Rule, all else are pretenders.

Thank you David, and Duck.

THE WHITE SHOE RULE AND “STRAW HAT DAY”:

By
David A. Bagwell

Fifty years ago, and more, the tradition in the deep South was that beginning on Easter weekend -- well before what people now call “Memorial Day”-- it became safe to wear white pants and skirts, white shoes and spectators, and a straw hat. I lump all that light-colored stuff together into what I call “The White Shoe Rule”.

Some Southerners today don’t buy that. They say that The White Shoe Rule doesn’t start until what we now call “Memorial Day”. Most of those people seem unusually certain that they know what they are talking about.

My answer to them is that they have gradually become –apparently unknowingly, I’ll charitably grant them that– the pawns and tools of the general Yankee-fication of America. I fully understand that this is a serious charge, but as Martin Luther said, “here I stand; God help me, I can do no other”, except he said it in German.

It’s a serious fashion question, even in this time of war, and sadness, and–their first cousin– presidential politics. Maybe it’s idle and frivolous to speak of the rules of fashion, but even during war and elections, life moves on, and so must we.

So, when may we properly begin --and when must we properly stop-- the wearing of white? Good question.

Do you remember the book The Southern Belle Primer by the wonderful late Marilyn Schwartz, whose subtitle was to the effect that Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret could never get in Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority because she wore white shoes in Texas the wrong time of year? I’m convinced that a lot of people misunderstand all this “White Shoe Rule” stuff, and not just the late Princess Margaret. A lot of us don’t know as much about our dress code history as we should.

Oh, sure; I know that every written source on fashion which might mention it, will say that you cannot wear white or straw hats before “Memorial Day”; we’ll get to all that in a moment. But all those books are written by Yankees. What you will read in those books is just – out with it now – just the Yankee rules. In the South, ours were always different, and they still are, unless we are morphing into Yankees, as some of us are.

Of course nobody should wear white all of the time. In 1880 Mark Twain wrote of his character Colonel Grangerford that “every day of his life he put on a clean shirt and a full suit from head to toe made out of linen so white it hurt your eyes to look at it.” But every day? Even in winter? In deepest winter, now, you’ll obviously make a spectacle of yourself in white. On December 7, 1906, when Mark Twain went to a copyright law hearing in the Capitol in Washington, D.C.– in December in Washington, mind you– he wore a suit of white wool flannels, not white linen. But the ruckus he raised by wearing a white suit in Washington in the winter landed him in stories in the New York Times, Herald, and Tribune the next morning. Of course, his point about copyrights was in the article, too, which just goes to show you that clothing can not only make a fashion statement, it can also help your substantive statement get published. Twain said funereally that “when a man reaches the advanced age of 71 years as I have, the continual sight of dark clothing is likely to have a depressing effect upon him”. And “a group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring”, he said. But, if you aren’t 71 and you aren’t Mark Twain, and it is not 1906–and I’m not and it isn’t– you must pay some attention to these rules, you know. Which means that you must know what the rules are.
The first thing to understand is that there are EXCEPTIONS to all this White Shoe Rule stuff, no matter when the starting date is.

One exception is "The Southern Resort Exception". At any Southern resort, like Boca Grande or Palm Beach or farther off in Bermudan or Carribean resorts and all that, white clothes and straw hats are ALWAYS allowed, regardless of the season. My father told me that the Yankees who went to the University of Alabama with him in the early 1930s wore white shoes all winter, on the apparent theory that Tuscaloosa was a Southern resort, which is clearly twelve points off true north.

What’s a “Southern resort”, anyway, outside of Boca Grande or something? Well, probably the place where I live– Point Clear on Mobile Bay -- barely qualifies as “a Southern resort”, although locals don’t wear white shoes here in the winter. What about Charleston and Savannah and Mobile? Well, maybe, but that’s pushing it. Here on the Gulf coast in winter the “snowbirds” from Michigan and Ohio and Canada wear shorts all winter visiting here -- and shiny nylon jackets which say things like “UAW Local 312" on the back-- but snowbirds just don’t for my purpose; I mean, they’re just snowbirds, which is what we lawyers call “a lesser-included offense”. To an Englishman, any place where it is warm and not raining at that moment, is apparently considered a “Southern resort”, which is precisely how H.R.H. Princess Margaret got in such hot water out in Texas for wearing white shoes in Dallas before their time– whatever their time is in Dallas.

The second exception is “The Yacht Exception”. I am not too sure of the breadth of this exception, either, never having owned a yacht and all, but I think that weather permitting, you may always wear white clothes on a yacht, at least if you don’t change your own engine oil, and no gentleman does that. This may be a sub-theorem of the Southern Resort Rule, since one always keeps her yacht in the South during the winter, doesn't she? And, speaking of The Late Princess Margaret, since the British Royal family has sent the Royal Yacht BRITANNIA to the wreckers for scrap, I just don’t know where they wear their whites, other than maybe Dallas in a pinch. The picture on my wall of Commodore Vanderbilt on his yacht – and before “The Late Unpleasantness” his yacht was the biggest yacht in the world– shows him in black wool with fur trim, so obviously it is not de rigeur– as we say down home-- that you wear whites on your yacht in winter. What’s a yacht? Well, paraphrase what J.P. Morgan said about “if you have to ask . . . . .”. I do know that none of my little canoes and duckskiffs and kayaks and rowboats and motor skiffs is “a “yacht”, and so mostly I just wear khaki shorts.

OK, exceptions aside, what exactly is The Rule?

Well, everybody agrees on the ENDING date of The White Shoe Rule, namely, that after Labor Day, you cannot wear white pants or suit or shoes, unless you meet one of the exceptions.
It's just the BEGINNING date for The White Shoe Rule that causes the problem.

To Yankees, the rule was always-- at least after Memorial Day was declared, after the Civil War -- that you cannot wear white pants or skirts or suits or shoes until what Yankees have always called “Memorial Day”, which is of course the last Monday in May.

But then that’s Yankees. My research confirms that in general, over the South, Easter weekend – and not Memorial Day-- was the beginning for the White Shoe Rule. Remember that Easter was the day on which boys got a new white linen coat, if their parents could afford one? And white shoes? They didn’t wait until Memorial Day.

That Easter rather than Memorial Day was the starting date for The White Shoe Rule in the South is not surprising, for two reasons. First, the South obviously gets hot earlier than the North does; I mean, what level are we on? Second, what we now call “Memorial Day” was originally set up as a memorial for Union soldiers in the Civil War, and when I grew up it was called “Yankee Memorial Day”. Here in Alabama the Federal workers got a holiday on “Yankee Memorial Day”, but the State workers got the holiday on “Confederate Memorial Day”, which in Alabama was April 26th [The rest of us in the private world always worked on both Yankee Memorial Day and Confederate Memorial Day]. Nobody in the deep South would have dated a fashion requirement or anything else from Yankee Memorial Day; I mean, laese majesty and all that! So, Easter was it.

I told you straight-out my theory that the people who think that the first day of The White Shoe Rule is Yankee Memorial Day rather than Easter, and who are moving the fashion goalposts from Easter to Yankee Memorial Day, are just one small part of the general Yankee-fication of America. National Public Radio no less, certainly an expert on the Yankee-fication of America, reported that Texas singer “Kinky” Friedman of the singing group “Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys”-- Kinky won the “Male Chauvinist of the Year” Award of The National Organization for Women with his song “Put Your Biscuits in the Oven and Get Your Buns Back in Bed”-- ran for governor of Texas in 2006 on the platform “Stop the Wuss-ification of Texas”. Kinky lost, but that is just a small skirmish in the larger battle over the general Yankee-fication of America.

But, for some reason– I don’t know why-- Easter was not necessarily the beginning day for straw hats for men. Strangely and “counter-intuitively”, as intellectuals seem to say, there was a totally separate and clear Southern rule for straw hats, and it certainly wasn’t Yankee Memorial Day, which was far too late to switch to straw hats. There was something called “Straw Hat Day” in the old days when people wore hats, and on “Straw Hat Day” it was like some Fred Astaire musical with a chorus, and everybody in unison– men and women, but mostly men -- all doffed their felt hats and put on their straw hats.

When was “Straw Hat Day”? Well, if you research it on the internet you’ll find that people in the upper South and Maryland seem to think that there was a “National Straw Hat Day” and that it was on May 15th. Well, not so fast.

We had a “Straw hat Day” in Mobile, and in Montgomery where I grew up, and surely in many other towns, but it was not May 15th; instead, it was a moveable feast. “Straw Hat Day” in Mobile was on whatever springtime day the Mayor’s proclamation of “Straw Hat Day” said it would be, but it was always just before Easter, usually on either Maunday Thursday, or the next day on Good Friday, just in time for the spring and Easter– read: white– finery to flower. The earliest recorded Mayor’s proclamation of Straw Hat Day in Mobile that I found during lunch in the City Archives was in 1931.

Why 1931? Well, hard to say for sure, but one clue is that the Mobile Register for March 7, 1931, which said "The first straw hat of 1931 appeared on Royal and Dauphin streets yesterday, far ahead of the official advent of spring. The latest model of 'head-gear' was worn by a stylishly dressed man, who did not seem embarrassed by eyes that stared and comments made as he passed along the avenues". Maybe the notable uncertainty of the proper beginning day for straw hats, so obvious in March of 1931, prompted the male populace to demand that the Mayor set an actual beginning date for straw hats; who knows at this point? While the files are not complete, these proclamations of “Straw Hat Day” seem to have run pretty steadily from 1931 until John Kennedy ran for president in 1960, when fashionable young men decided that fashionable young men simply did not wear hats any more. If fashionable young men don’t wear hats, then there is no need for a “Straw Hat Day”.

These old Mayoral proclamations here of “Straw Hat Day” are wonderful throwbacks to another world of springtimes filled with wisteria and azaleas, usually reciting in multiple “whereases” that “Mobile is a veritable flower garden with the air scented with street perfume and the streets lined with the riotous coloring of floral displays”, that “our birds are singing everywhere and their songs are the harbingers of new life and springtime”, noting the date of the Mobile Bears’ opening game and pointedly proclaiming that the proper hat to be worn at all baseball games “is a STRAW hat” – note that it is not a baseball cap– and declaring “Straw Hat Week”. “All citizens of the city”-- and not just men-- were “urged to put away their winter chapeaux and to replace them with sparkling new STRAW HATS”. So straw hat day was always just before Easter. Attention Yankees and the running dogs of Yankees: “Straw Hat Day” in the South never had anything to do with Yankee Memorial Day.

I’m not the guy to talk about women’s Mardi Gras finery in Mobile and New Orleans, other than admiring it and paying for it, but everybody knows that women beat Easter to the punch by forty or more days during Mardi Gras, wearing light clothes and straw hats.

But, then in the fall, the Southern cities would flip back, on some designated day about a month after Labor Day, proclaimed by the Mayor and City Commission to be called “Felt Hat Day”.
And, it’s worth noting in passing – since it is clearly forgotten by most of us– that there were official Mayoral proclamations banning suits and coats in the daytime in the summer, beginning about July 1st. Apparently the “Coats Off Campaign” in late summer was started by the Junior Chamber of Commerce just after WWII, and by the middle 1950s Southern mayors often proclaimed that beginning on “Sport Shirt Day” on July 1st or 2nd or something, and usually running all summer until the official first day of fall on September 21, “the proper, modest and polite attire for gentlemen in the City [shall] be and the same is hereby declared to be a neat, lightweight sports shirt instead of coat and necktie for all occasions from sunrise to sunset, and also proper evening attire except for formal occasions”. Now, why in the world was that ever abandoned in the South? Obviously the advent of air conditioning nipped it, but still, that is a tradition that Southerners ought to have preserved, just as they ought to have preserved more old buildings and houses and all of that. Here in Fairhope we still have a sportshirt tradition in both the summer and the winter, and we impart this tradition to our sons and grandsons in Homeric song before the fire of an evening. It might be our role to do that now, and so I now heartily recommend to all, wherever they live, that they go back to the sound traditions of their fathers and grandfathers, and not be unsound on the sportshirt question.

Now, admittedly, this fashion stuff was mostly higher- income people in the first place, and whether or not this date was observed by a man plowing a mule –switching his and his mule’s hats from the wool hat to the straw hat– I just cannot say for sure. But I can say for sure that a man who wore a felt hat until Yankee Memorial Day looked pretty strange on a Southern street. Or, a man who even recognized Yankee Memorial Day, for that matter.

But these rules seem to be moving fast. Friends who know, say that at the Fairgrounds in New Orleans, plenty of the horse owners in the winners’ circle wear white suits in the early spring, even shortly after Mardi Gras. Maybe New Orleans always started wearing white after Mardi Gras; I don’t know, or maybe even never stopped wearing white? Is New Orleans a “Southern resort”? But, why-oh-why do New Orleanians have to wear those black shoes and bright shirts and ties with their white suits; it’s Atticus Finch morphing into “Fast Eddie’s Used Cars”, for heavens’ sakes.

The edges of The White Shoe Rule are increasingly ragged. In the women’s fashion field there is some analog to “Moore’s Law” in computers, such that the rapidity of changes in fashion trends tends to multiply by a factor of four every three years, or something. Attractive young women in high fashion who are inexplicably close to me report that “modern fashionistas wear white year-round to get that ‘edgy look’ as they call it”, not following any rule but their own. Examples?

Wearing white leather boots in the winter, for instance; obviously not meant for summer, but still white. The apparent idea of “edginess” is “intentional fashion faux pas”. But, the edgy look of white shoes year round can only be pulled off by those who are, you know–edgy. “On the average woman, it will simply look like someone who didn’t quite know whether it was Easter or Memorial Day yet.” Which is still better than those white patent shoes and belt on Fast Eddie’s used car lot, and all. Whether white rubber boots on a shrimper are “edgy” or not, I’ll let you decide; I mean, some of these questions are pretty far out.

Well, I don’t have a yacht, and I’m not too sure this is a southern resort, but for my money, white clothes are ok from Easter through Labor Day, on clear days anyway, and being reasonable about it, like “ok at garden parties but not funerals”. Suit yourself, but if you don’t agree, then you may well be a Yankee.

David Bagwell lives in Point Clear, Alabama, and has his own "White Shoe Law Firm" in Fairhope. In almost six decades he has never lived outside the South, although he once spent most of a year traveling around the world on a Fellowship to study international business, during which he almost always wore a suit, but never a white suit or white shoes, since the message of a white suit in -say-Rangoon or Calcutta, or ever Marseilles, might convey a different messsage than intended.

Thank you again David.

Toad, on the occasion of his 600th post



Thursday, April 1, 2010

click on google yet?

their annual April Fool's day banner is especially good this year

Dominique? The last word.


Long time readers know that I was for a time somewhat besotted with Ms. Dominique Browning, formerly Editor of House and Garden Magazine's U.S. edition. On these pages I have promised to read telephone books if only she would write them. All to no avail.

In the mean time I have developed a trick, which may help some of you pass the lonely months without your favorite magazine. I'll share.

Each month, around the time the mail is deluged with incoming magazines, I go to my stash of old H&G's, gently retrieve a then current month's issue and respectfully insert the prior month into its protective plastic sleeve. Since my memory is not so great, what do I care if I am currently reading April 2001? It's all new to me. Next month might be May 2005. What do I care?

That said, I was surprised to get an email from Ms. Browning's people. In its entirety it said, "Toad, enuf already with your attacks on Ms. Browning. Go bother Julia Reed. Get over it. Any more and I'll sic our other people on you."

Harsh words, I thought, but I wouldn't let it go.

I wrote back, in my own inimitable way. "D, waz up?"

The Queen herself wrote back.

" God, I'm so glad that magazine thing is over. Me, an attractive single woman, in the prime of my life, surrounded by gay, yes men. I haven't seen daylight since I don't know when. Haven't seen a straight man in forever.

Since I was under contract when the magazine folded, our publisher, Mr. Newhouse graciously allowed me to become one of his personal assistants. The pay is good, but the conditions are a cross between Annie, and Cinderella. You can, for serious, pre-order my book covering the past year here, it will be released soon. Now, leave me alone!"

For those half dozen of you, who find this blog each day by Googling Dominique, this is my last word on this subject.

D? She ain't here. However, her blog may be found here.

Toad

April Food Day




I have mentioned in the past that Mrs. T and I spend a lot of time with a local food pantry. Everything, everywhere is tight, and the need keeps growing. American's generous support for earthquake victims in Haiti has decimated local support for neighborhood pantries. Please give as though your family's next meal depended on it.

I am asking your support for Feeding America.

  • Feeding America is annually providing food to 37 million Americans, including 14 million children. This is an increase of 46 percent over 2006, when we were feeding 25 million Americans, including 9 million children, each year.
  • That means one in eight Americans now rely on Feeding America for food and groceries.
  • Feeding America's nationwide network of food banks is feeding 1 million more Americans each week than we did in 2006.
  • Thirty-six percent of the households served have at least one person working.
  • More than one-third of client households report having to choose between food and other basic necessities, such as rent, utilities and medical care.
  • The number of children the Feeding America network serves has increased by 50 percent since 2006.
  • Feeding America food banks provide food and groceries to 33,500 food pantries, 4,500 soup kitchens and 3,600 emergency shelters.
  • 68 percent of pantries, 42 percent of soup kitchens, and 15 percent of emergency shelters rely solely on volunteers and have no paid staff.
  • 55 percent, are faith-based agencies affiliated with churches, mosques, synagogues and other religious organizations; 33 percent are other types of non-profit organizations.



Thank you Meg and Chris for your hard work.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Woman who made "The Godfather"



Longwing started it.

For much of the past month he has been rummaging through his mother's family photos, publishing his mother and aunts photos of their late 60's, early 70's selves.

Beautiful preppy girls at the apogee of preppydom. Eye candy for men of a certain age. Ten, maybe 15 years before Longwing's birth.

For all his great shots, he has missed the most important icon of the era. Tomorrow's birthday girl. Alice Macgraw.

Ali had the misfortune of attending the Farrah Fawcett school of acting. She did other things, but is known for only one movie. It made her and broke her.

I read that book Christmas Day, 1970. I was in Air Force basic training, and a paperback was one of the few things from home we were allowed to keep. It was ages before I saw the movie. Thank goodness Jenny didn't survive to see the sequel.


Love Story producer Robert Evans fell for her instantly, and she quickly became his 3rd. wife. He pushed her to make a movie with Steve McQueen, which she didn't want to do. She and Steve were instantly inseparable. Ali became the love of Steve McQueen's life. They were oil and water.



Obviously, I don't know Ali, but do know several women who do. It's widely held that she is one of the most generous, kind hearted women you are ever likely to meet. She was and is gorgeous.

So how did she make "The Godfather"? Paramount Studios was weeks away from closing their doors forever when Ali's big movie was released for Christmas 1970. It made so much money, so quickly, Paramount stayed open. Production of the Godfather began in the spring of 1971, all because love means never having to say your sorry.

If you must know, however ungallant, look up her year of birth. I was stunned.

Toad

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Happy Birthday



There was a time, forgotten by many now, when self esteem was earned by your own ACCOMPLISHMENTS. It wasn't a god given right to have self esteem. Not everyone received trophies, didn't get adda boys, didn't win the girl, unless your succeeded at something. Preferably something worthwhile.

So imagine, it's the mid '60's. London. A young man emerges from the primordial goo, wanting to be a great musician. He knows he can play guitar pretty well, but that damned Jeff Beck plays far better, and for now is better known. There's a black kid in San Fransisco nipping at his heels too.

Self Esteem is pretty well shot, especially as he looks around and knows people are staying up late at night, printing money in the basement, for his friends The Beatles, and Rolling Stones. He's not hurting for cash, but...

To top it off, his best friend's wife is beginning to look pretty hot to him. Never a particularly good place for your head to be.

Then some SOB spray paints the graffiti in the photo. Devastated him. He crawled, then ran headlong to follow his demons. It took decades to hit low enough that he finally wanted to live, and live he did. Thanks to the love a good woman and the Fender Guitar Corporation. Eventually he earned his self esteem, rose to the top of his profession, and were all the happier for it.

Happy Birthday Mr. Clapton

Toad

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Obama's go to Brooks

Have you seen the summer Brooks Brothers catalog?

Its a satirist dream come true. What's sad though, is watching a venerable tradition slide into senility. This catalog may be the greatest example of do not do as I do advertising ever put out by BB's.



Men's sartorial rules are few and far between. The simplest is this. Only one distracting item at a time. It's the same as the women's rule.

So take a gander at this Mad Man. Fourth of July at the club. Nanny reds -perfect. Nanny reds and a bow? No, and I haven't worn a long tie in a decade.



Once upon a time, BB sold a much better version of this shirt. Wasn't seersucker, had long sleeves. They called it the Blandings. It was a perfect summer shirt. This is ugly.




Unless you are British AND in Bermuda you may not wear shorts with a jacket and tie. If you are British and in Bermuda, you must wear socks. Preferably knee socks.

Ladies are permitted to refuse admittance to a man, old enough to buy his own drinks, who shows up at their door attired like the idiot on the right.

As long as we are taking shots, did you notice the coat length on the man on the left? Looks like the coat came from Jos Banks.



I recommend few sartorial rules. One I espouse is "If you wear a tie, you must wear socks." Simple to remember, simple to execute, and I rarely wear socks. He's old enough to know better.


He did it again.


Tom Cruise walks into a bar.....

Toad

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Perfect Porches



Along with the sound of a fresh draft beer hitting my glass, one of my many madelines is the word Spring. The hope of Spring makes living in the midwest in late February and March possible. It keeps many of us from jumping from the basement windows.

The word Spring rushes me back some 50 years, to the sound of air conditioners.

Back in the olden days, residential air conditioning was a hoped for promise. A world's fair trick. Life in the future, along with flying cars. The introduction of window a/c units made all things possible. Even life in the South.

In my neighborhood, the window AC lived in the parents bedroom. Kids could nap in there, but it would have had to feel like NOLA in August to let the kids and dogs inside those hallowed precincts at night. Some of the better families had two. One to watch television by. The neighborhood kids hung out there.

It was the AC that killed the porch, altered domestic architecture, and made the suburbs culturally sterile. I miss springtime on the porch most of all.



The current issue of Garden and Gun had a blurb announcing the release of a new book by Paula S. Wallace, President of the Savannah College of Art and Design. "Perfect Porches, designing welcoming spaces for outdoor living". Another Clarkson Potter picture book. I jumped immediately.

Many Potter books highlight the homes of the masters of the universe. Structures and locales few earthly beings know exist. This is somewhat more democratic in its reach. Country porches, southern porches, lakeside cabins, urban neighborhood porches.



I don't necessarily recommend it, Bunny Williams' "An Affair with a House" covers the same ground more eloquently, and Mary Randolph Carter's "Family Style" covers the country porch very well. It was however a good reminder of great days to come.

Toad

Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Toole's


I understand from learned friends that winning a Pulitzer prize requires more than talent. It takes a champion, and a great deal of luck. Winning posthumously magnifies the difficulty. Winning 12 years after your death is unheard of.

Forty one years ago this weekend, a young unpublished writer, overcome by migraines, depression and a liquid diet decided that Biloxi, Mississippi was as good a place as any to end it all. I was in Biloxi at the time, fighting the battle of Keesler AFB, and can't say I would disagree.

His mother Thelma, ten years later, found a smeared carbon copy of her son's unpublished novel in a drawer. Only her determination, and badgering Walker Percy to read her son's novel, Mr. Percy's unexpected understanding of the inherent worth of the work, and push to have it published, led to john Kennedy Toole's "A Confederacy of Dunces", eventual status as an American classic.

For this we thank a mother's love and what a piece of work she was. At best narcissistic, at worst wildly eccentric, she had a brief career appearing on afternoon and late night television shows, regaling anyone who would listen, with stories of her now famous son. It is said she never told the same story twice.

After appearing on Tom Snyder's Tomorrow Show, she returned to her hotel room to watch the program. She told interviewers " that she would love to meet the woman on the show. She seemed so nice."

Snyder invited her back on the show, suggesting he would provide drinks and snacks. " Only Champagne Tom, she replied, "I'm not just someone you can drag in off the streets."

Eventually, the real Ken Toole became unknowable. His mother's hagiography obliterated most of the real man behind the words.

If somehow you haven't read it, please do. Pour a drink, pretend you are in New Orleans, and let the story take over.

Ken where ever you are, thank you.

Toad

Friday, March 26, 2010

Not trying to pick a fight


I kinda like the post office. My aversion to fisticuffs makes me unwilling and mentally unable to take on any branch, agency or tributary of the Federal Government in any fight. I do not want my name showing up any one's list, save maybe Nixon's, but I was too young.

That said, if I ran the Post Office, some things may be different. Allow me elucidate.

February 17, a package was sent from the world renowned bow tie maker, Ellie Stager to moi. Ellie kindly sent the link enabling me to follow its route. I enclose yesterday's edition below.




Label/Receipt Number:
Class: First-Class Mail®
Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™
Status: Processed through Sort Facility

Your item was processed through and left our CHARLOTTE, NC 28228 facility on February 18, 2010. The item is currently in transit to the destination. No further information is available for this item.




Enter Label/Receipt Number.

Enter Label / Receipt Number.





Detailed Results:

Processed through Sort Facility, February 18, 2010, 10:45 pm, CHARLOTTE, NC 28228
Electronic Shipping Info Received, February 17, 2010




So I printed a copy and went to the post office. The clerk, took my print out, hummed and hawed a couple of times, went in back, poured a cup of coffee, got a cig, went outside to finish her smoke, eventually returned with the best advice I have ever heard.

The postal clerk said "Friend, consider it lost, that way if it ever shows up it will be a surprise". Can't argue with genius.

Trying to keep from feeling despondent, I went home and checked on the status of another package I am having shipped. This one from California. I include it here.

Tracking number

USPS
Processed through Sort Facility, Mar-22-10, 19:53 PM, JERSEY CITY, NJ, 07097
Processed through Sort Facility, SPRINGFIELD, MA, 01152
Processed through Sort Facility, BELL, CA, 90201
Electronic Shipping Info Received, GARDEN GROVE, CA, 92841



California,to Massachusetts, to New Jersey.....

Keep in mind I live in Missouri.

Is it any wonder?

Toad

Thursday, March 25, 2010

EXTRA EXTRA READ All ABOUT IT

For all you Dominique Browning fans, and I know there are thousands, her blog and web site just went live.

You may catch it here.

Toad

calendars


Around 150 AD Catholic church leaders reinvented the Roman orgy, Saturnalia, the winter solstice, as the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Allowing for a bit of wiggle room, December 25th was the agreed upon date. With me so far?

Every good marketeer knows you won't enroll new members by gypping them out of something they always looked forward to. The Church was looking for new blood, so instead of saying, as they later would, "you cannot go to that stupid Roman party" they said, "Come to our new Christmas party". It worked.


Around the same time, a new feast day, Lady's Day was cut from whole cloth. Lady's Day marked the beginning of the liturgical year, and for all intents became the new New Years Day. Not uncoincidentally, Lady's Day, now known as Annunciation Day, was placed exactly nine months before Christmas, March 25. Today, if you will.

Have you ever wondered why the 8th month (oct ober) was really the 10th, or the 10th month (Dec ember) was 12th? Thank Lady's Day.

Around 1582, the Gregorian calendar was instituted throughout Catholic Europe. Its big improvement was to reinstate New Years on January 1, and moved the major liturgical celebrations to a more fixed time period, but didn't move the months.

And there boys and girls is your history lesson for the day. Why do I know this? It's my birthday.

Toad

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

chuck lorre revisited


You remember seeing it somewhere, but you can't quite put your finger on where.It was here and most likely you haven't haven't kept up with your reading.

Do you know from Chuck Lorre?

Chuck is the creator, producer, writer,god, of such television staples as The Big Bang Theory, Two and a half men,
Dharma and Greg, Cybil, etc. etc. etc.

At the end of each program, after the
credits he publishes a vanity card. You never see it because your TIVO stops too early, or you think its all the legal stuff and don't pay attention. You are missing a lot.

Chuck is twisted. Painfully. His vanity cards are a brief look into every guys mind. I recommend you pay more attention in the future. Or find your favorites
here. We left off in the 240's.

Toad

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A spring urge



I suspect that women suffer this anxiety every so often, but for completely different reason. It doesn't seem that odd, until you actually want to ask someone about it. Then the words are difficult to form on the lips. Asking the question, out loud, just isn't done. So I'll do it in print.

Do you ever want to see your toes? Just a straight bend your head down and see your feet? I do.

steve burke photo

It's not that I worry about them. I suspect that they are still there, and working as best they can under the enormous loads and unfair working conditions I put them under. I just need a little reassurance.

I can lay down, and hold my feet up and see them. Sometime I get a fleeting glance putting on my socks.

When I rid myself of the spare tire, life will be so much better. I'll see my toes every day. Until then I must resort to these.



Welcome spring!
Toad

Monday, March 22, 2010

BoA Blinked


Paige and her father were the receipients of a cashiers check from BOA this afternoon.
When ask to open a new account, without fees, Paige demured.
Let us give thanks, and check our statements, our kid's statements, and our grand kid's too.
Toad

Odds and Ends

You must understand that Mrs. T rarely reads these pages. This could be proof positive of her inherent good sense, or her belief that what you don't know can't hurt you. Either way the coast is usually clear.

In this case someone, probably my daughter, tipped her off, and I was fed hot tongue and cold shoulder for what seemed an eternity.

My sole defense, thanks to Foobella, was that I was going, with a smile.

Of course I'm speaking of the Marvin Hamlish ordeal, on St. Patrick's Day.

The ducats were for Mrs. T and a guest only. No trades, no substitutes. She had to go, present a picture ID, and a guest if she could dig one up. It had to be her.

So who spent the day, and the week, curled up with her nebulizer?

She couldn't go, and I was gypped.

We later talked to friends who went. They expected to get out of there long by 7 pm, having time left to partake of at least some of the days festivities, as there would be no leaving the taping early. They left a little after midnight. Whatever enjoyment they had, was lost somewhere along the way.

BOA
BOA may have blinked, although nothing has been settled yet. I'll let you know.

Kansas Basketball
Each year I wager #1 son $1,000,000, double or nothing, per game for each of KU's basketball games. By the end of the Big 12 Tourney I'm out half a billion dollars or so. By the second week of the NCAA tourney I'm even. Happens every year.
Whatever hit my bride
Has laid the dogs and I low as well. We are almost on the mend, so tomorrow may have some substance. As well, everyone is finally safely home from Australia. Thank you Ozzies for taking such good care of them.

Be well, enjoy the first week of spring.

Toad

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Separated at Birth?


Alice




Tal Wilkenfeld

For the uninitiated Tal is about the hottest thing to hit the bass guitar since Paul McCartney. She barely 20 and can hold her own playing bass for Jeff Beck and/or Eric Clapton. Whale of a jazz bassist too.

Toad

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Tailors, and a book review



In sheer desperation I consulted reference librarian, ADG of Maxminimus for a recommendation on a book I wanted to order. He choked at my choice, and instantly wrote that "my eyes should fall out reading such trash, read this instead." Where upon he sent me a link to Richard Anderson's book, Bespoke: Savile Row Ripped and Smoothed.

The book wasn't bad, but I don't believe it had the effect the author intended. Mr. Anderson was a long time tailor at the reknown Savile Row tailor Huntsman.



Over time Huntsman, lost their way, falling from the the top rung, to become just another shop, albeit the priciest on the Row, and that's saying something.

Anderson got out in time, and hung his own shingle, next door to his old firm, and is doing very well thank you. The point I took from the book, was most of the stuff on the Row is so-so, the big names fall, and you're most likely to leave Savile Row, down the price of a new car, for a suit that you're likely to be unhappy with.

Another voice in the wilderness is Steven Hitchcock of The Savile Row Tailor. He took over Alexander McQueen's seat when McQueen left Anderson and Sheppard. His blog often focus's on conducting a post mortem (ripping apart other tailors clothes) to see how well they are constructed. Often he is not amused.

Which is long way to get to my point.

A length of 10 ounce navy linen cloth showed up on my doorstep yesterday. Enough for a jacket, but probably not a DB. I've spent the day scrounging pieces to take to the tailor, so that he can work his alchemy.



The lining will be an old silk escape map.



The buttons from a Benson and Clegg set.

Now for the details, stealing heavily again from ADG.

One button front. This was an old Huntsman conceit. Their jackets are cut like body armour. My body is not, but I like the look.

Two button sleeves. It's all I have buttons for.

Side vents. As a right hand in my pants pocket man, I just like the way side vented coats move.

Besome pockets with ticket pocket. I keep Mrs. T's smoking supplies in there.

I haven't decided on the collar yet. If there is enough for a DB, then shawl. Otherwise, I just don't know, and am open to suggestions.

Finally, I'm torn. The material feels like it wants to soak in a tub for a couple of days before being handed off. Any ideas?

With luck, if I drop it off soon, I may get it back before the Easter bunny hits town.

Toad

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Art? Part 3 The stall is working

We have visited the ART Man's gallery in the past. You can revisit our excursions here, and here.

Mrs. T and I drove by Sunday to see how things were progressing. Much has changed since our visit over the holidays. The man's megalomania may never end. In the mean time, 3 of his closest neighbors have placed their homes for sale. Similar homes two blocks away in the same subdivision sell for $100k more. Go figure.

Then




Now




Then


Now



Then





Happy St. Paddy's Day to y'all.
Toad

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Upgrade the neighborhood

Buddy David, of Midwestern Malaise has off and on publicly fretted about his need/want of new garage doors, but at the same time lamented the expense replacing the doors would be. His neighbors may be willing to chip in, if only he'd ask, but I suggest a third way, mayhaps a better way to solve his dilema.

Why live with nasty old garage doors when you can have this?





or perhaps



or my favorite


Or David's?


A creative type could probably fashion their own. Fairly easy to make and install, inexpensive, impressive and fitting for all neighborhoods.

Whatta think David?

Toad