The Namer

In his book, The Best of Plimpton, George writes about his ideal retirement.

"Every once in a while I wonder vaguely what I will do very late in my declining years-when just sitting in a chair may be all I can do. The notion has kept recurring that, being a fireworks enthusiast, I would delight in being retained (at a nominal fee, mostly for travel) by Oriental fireworks manufacturers to be assisted out to a field and settled into a chair, possibly with a headrest attached, so that looking up into the night sky would be comfortable, where my function would be to decide on names for their new aerial shells. I would be known as "The Shell-Namer." "

A man's got to dream and this is an honorable calling. To paraphrase Tristram Shandy, "to each man his own hobby horse", and George did love his fireworks. He just didn't dream big enough.

Me, I'd rather be the "Pill Namer".

What manner of idiot names pharmaceuticals? "Ask your doctor if Astro is right for you", my foot. I'd give them real names, for treating real symptoms. Names you'd insist on. Dr. I demand to have....

I'd start by re-naming Viagra.

On nights and weekends I could become "The Car Namer."

Think there is any money in kid naming? If in want, I may be reached here.

Toad