TOPS

Perhaps some of you have rightfully repressed these memories, but I was scarred for life, as 10 year old, when my mother made me sit in the back of the room while she attended a meeting of TOPS, Take Off Pounds Sensibly.

In those days, the women met in a church basement, had a several minute rah rah session, and then hit the scales. Watching adult women with tears in their eyes, approach a scale was spectacle enough, but the punch line came shortly later.

If a women gained a couple of ounces, she was whipped off the scale, and had to put on a pig hat, and recite, "Oink Oink, I'm a big fat pig". That's when the tears really began.

Even as a 10 year old that didn't seem motivational to me. I wondered why they didn't stay home. To this day I shutter when the subject of diets comes up.

After dinner on Thanksgiving, my non-competitive SIL invited my bride to join her at Weight Watchers. As any boy, born of woman knows, when mom is on a diet the family is.

Saturday, the girls sign up. Mrs. T is in full competition mode. She knows her points,she has a plan. Now, we both are at the gym daily, it's cardboard and gruel at our house. SIL never went back, and I'm feeling like Oliver Twist.

Last Saturday was the second weigh in. Mrs. T is fuming since SIL didn't go, but very proud of her loss. Occasionally, she'll ask how I'm doing. My lips are sealed.

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