I wish this were an oh what a good boy am I tale, but that negates the obscenity that came before for which I alone bear full responsibility. Instead, I believe in the power of redemption. This is my redemption song.
I blame my internist. I have the lipid panel of a 12 year old girl, but my MD only sees a fat man when he hands over a script for old fat man pills. His advice is if I don't like it do something about it. I took up his challenge, overcoming my strict meat, potato and sweets diet, relearning how to sweat while revisiting the gym.
I despise vegetables but now take my daily dosage, along with smaller portions and rarely visit potatoes. I'm in danger of becoming a know it all authority on men's health. Just ask. The things I've learned, I could write a book. Total cholesterol 159, HDL always low at 36, LDL 94. Triglycerides 113. Not bad for an old fat man
My white linen suit is now at Goodwill, with luck I'll find another in a NOLA thrift shop. Nothing in my closet fits, I give thanks for suspenders. Only a few more pounds to go. If I can do it so can anyone.