Tuesday, December 27, 2011

We're Toast

Around 1990 an American seismologist Iben Browning predicted that a massive earthquake would occur in the Mississippi flood plain wreaking havoc to those, like me, living in the affected neighborhood.  He even provided a date as I recall.  Millions of dollars were earned by those selling home earthquake protection systems, bottled water, stored food supplies and ready fuel and cash.  In many ways, prepackaged Mormon security kits.  The quake hasn't yet come to pass, but friends and neighbors still have cases of oatmeal standing guard in their basements.  I gave Iben a pass.

On January 1, 2000 the world as we knew it was scheduled to come to a screeching end. Utilities and banks, not  having the sense that god gave sheep, were expected to let their computer systems turn over and die when the calendar rolled to 2000.  The collected stupidity of the financial system would launch economic suicide on all of us. Utilities were so out of touch they would forgo the opportunity for profit, plunging us into New Year's darkness and cold, while their computerized delivery mechanisms shut down at the stroke of midnight.

Were you Y2K compatible?  Certain that Mrs. T wasn't, I postponed our nupts until January 15th.  She wasn't then and still isn't, and I've lived to tell the tale.  All the other bad stuff never happened either.

Now I reminded of Muhammad Ali's pre-trial assertion that the Viet Cong never called him names.  The Mayan's, with whom I've no truck have signed our death warrant.  We've less than a year to live.  How can we not take a 700 year prediction seriously?  I've been lucky thus far, but the odds are not in our favor this time.

The trouble is what's the point of making a killing on this if we are all toast?  It's worse than a rapture.  In a rapture many (most?) don't go.  At an end of the world party we check in but never leave.

So how do we prepare?  I'm all for spending the year drinking wine cellars dry, blowing the kids inheritance, draining nest years Christmas fund early, racking up incredible debt, while enjoying life to the fullest all the way to the end.   If we wake up to find the Mayans were wrong about the date we invade Mayanlandia.  It is right and just.


mayans offed around 1300  http://www.thenagain.info/webchron/americas/endmaya.html

y2k compatibility

mid america earthquake predictor 1990ish   Iben Browning's Prediction of a 1990 New Madrid, wiki

no mayan ever called me names- m ali v viet cong

drink up the cellar, blow the college fund, max the credit cards,


Let The Tide Pull Your Dreams Ashore said...

Best wishes for 2012. xx

C. Joy said...

My family is still using the paper towels my grandma stocked up on for the impending Y2K disaster. At some point during the last 50 years I've figured out that the world ends when you step out in front of a bus (or whatever other method takes you 'out of this world'). So be good.... enjoy your wine - but don't spend ALL the inheritance (just in case). Happy 2012!

YONKS said...

I'm all for the drinking and the spending. The end of the world, yahooooooooo, what a ride!
Happy new final year.

engagement rings said...

I predict it will all be ok. Just enjoy life. Have a great new year.

sue in mexico mo said...

Happy New Year!

Jennings and Gates said...

This is very similar to my feeling 2 weeks ago when Men's Health Mag announced to the planet, that the sexiest woman of all time was/is, Jennifer Anniston. Since Men's Health readers thoughtfully chose the hottest women down to, I believe, number 100, we are all (including the wives and girlfriends of said Men's Health readers) forever off the hook. Because, let's be realistic, it's too much bother to spend hours doing one's hair to compete for the number 101 spot. We can fling off our 4" heels (or better yet, mail them to Men's Health) put away our ta-tas and our belly buttons and finally, just relax.

Old Polo said...

Guess my lovely wife and I will just go to New Mexico and see if the end of the world can find us there. Oh, but I do expect to take ample wine and spirits, plus of course, the ones (spirits) that we shall meet there. No inheritance, so no problem there. Lets see...what else should we pack. Oh well.

Toad we wish you and Mrs. T the very best next year! Some how I expect that the rent will still be due.

Patent Solicitor said...

'At an end of the world party we check in but never leave.' What an amazing line!