Why we drive

Once again, least there be any misunderstanding, allow me to state publicly and unequivocally that I adore my bride. She can do no wrong. It's her planet, I'm privileged to be allowed to circle her orbit. That said...

It's rare we travel separately. When we travel together as often as not we drive, it's less hassle. Our land yacht holds lots of stuff, so we travel in comfort. Anyone else you know bring their TIVO along on vacation?

Mrs. T met up with two of her children this past week, left Thursday returned Saturday. She flew. Count the days with me. Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

The overweight charge for her checked bag was quoted at $65, on top of the $35 checked bag fee, call it $100, each way. Mercifully, they cut her some slack, and allowed to move some things to her purse, and overlooked some others, which dropped the fee.

So my question for the day is: How does one petite woman pack 20 pounds per day? Most of Chico's wares appear so gossamer, is that some kind of a visual trick? Are their goods lead lined? I can only imagine what her purse weighed, and yes, TIVO stayed home. I'm so incredibly happy she's returned.

Happy Mother's Day to you and all my favorite mothers.

Toad

Off to the Derby parties

She's too shy to mention it publicly but be sure to place an extra wager or 2 on Mrs. Blanding's personal entry in the Derby. Shackleford.



My alternative is the #3 horse. For luck I'm sporting "The Man" bow, made by Southern Proper for Wm. King Clothiers

Toad

A show of hands please

All who believe Osama Bin Laden was buried at sea raise your hands.

All who believe the mortal remains of Osama Bin Laden will lie in perpetuity in a secret CIA vault raise your hands.

I thought so too.

Toad

Remembrance of more past things

Gentlemen, remember Sunday is Mother's Day, in the US!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I purchased my first Swatch watch in the spring of 1987, a jaunty summer number. Until then, and still, I either wore my 8th grade graduation watch, or my late grandfather's, a copy of which graced George Mallory's wrist on his fatal trek up Mt. Everest.

Mallory's watch

Photo: Maxminimus

I was at that time in my young man trying to make my mark on the world phase, too self important for friviality. The Swatch was a complete break from normalcy.

I also had a daughter in high school.

Many's the night I saw my closet walk out the door. My tux jacket went perfectly with that dress. Brooks button downs made great slumber party cover ups. My stylish Swatch went with everything. Most made it home eventually, usually after a girlfriend or two or three had tried it for a couple of weeks, passed judgement then passed it on. The watch, I never saw again.

Over time it faded from memory, until thumbing through "A Privileged Life" by Susanna Salk. The photo of Stephan Stolman (top) that accompanied the foreword tripped a circuit. I too wanted/needed a colorful summer watch. I can be frivolous if I want to. Where the ********** was my Swatch?

I looked on EBAY and was stunned by what it would cost to replace my old toy. I figured I'd wait, it'll come down. In the mean time that very same daughter and her husband gave me an EBAY gift card for my bd.

Good things come to those who wait. My brand new 1987 Newport 2 Swatch, with crystal protector, in honor of Stars and Stripes, the 1987 America's Cup winning yacht arrived yesterday. All is now right with the world. And, no she may not borrow it, unless she asks nicely.

Toad

End of an era -followup

In March I wrote about the last 3 WW1 vets.

Claude Choales, the last remaining combatant died yesterday in Australia.

The sole remaining vet, Florence Green, is doing well at 110.

Toad

Paige a Service Kangaroo?

A very old photo, Paige is now much older, has all her teeth, is taller and sings like an angel.

I was speaking with granddaughter Paige's older sister about plans for her upcoming high school graduation. Parents have been provided a multi page list of thou shall nots for the ceremony, but I found a loophole.

Graduations should be all about the student, it's why we go, but they can also be about the shared family sacrifice necessary to reach such a momentous milestone. That's why I asked Paige to share the ceremony and be her sister's Service Kangaroo. It's like a service dog, only a kangaroo.

Official Service Kangaroo Uniform

As I explained to Paige, she would hold her sister's hand and hop alongside in the processional, stand behind her while on stage, then take her sister's hand hopping alongside while she picks up her diploma, and hop out when the show was over. (The thou shalt nots don't even touch on this eventuality.)

Paige asked why.

Carefully, we went over her role in the proceedings, explaining that the kangaroo was vital during the picking up the diploma part, as she would have to carry, the rest was filler. Her sister would need one hand to hold the Kangaroo's hand and may need the other to adjust her cap, or gown. The Kangaroo, having the only free hand, would have to carry the diploma. Q.E.D

I gotta tell ya it's an ongoing tough sale. Paige strongly and persistently argues that if sis wasn't holding the Service Kangaroo's hand she could lug her own diploma.

Paige however enjoys being the center of attention. Once I fully explained the benefits of being on stage, the only Service Kangaroo in town, watched by tens of hundreds, probably even be on TV, the seas becalmed.

Now the joke's on me. The suit shown above costs $1165 US. I've going to have a MUCH tougher sale at home. It better come in school colors.

Toad

Mr. Yellow Pants

Gentlemen, a reminder. Mother's Day is this Sunday in the US.


How can you not help but have your closet influenced by this man?

Examine the details. Pay attention to the shoulders. There is a dissertation demonstrating the importance of fit, quality and detail in every photo.

On a younger man his look may be too precious, but the guy knows what turns run of the mill into something special. He makes appearing elegant, suave, dapper look nonchalant, comfortable. That's true style.

How many toggle coats do you see anymore? It was probably his father's. Notice the embroidered cords-without a break.

He gets my vote for best dressed man in America, every time.

Photos 1-3,5 The Sartorialist
Photo 4 Mr. Mort

Note: the second last photo is most likely not Mr. Yellow Pants, but more likely Bob Prenner of Ben's Silver, Charleston.

Toad

Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival

I'm a bachelor this weekend, with 3 dogs under foot, who believes we'd would enjoy a drive down south. Set the GPS for the Breaux Bridge, La. Crawfish festival. Mrs. T has kin nearby, I'm near certain they won't mind our shacking up.

We'll have to leave tomorrow to ensure arrival in time for the beauty pageant. It's always held the day before, kept out of sight to non locals.

from Milk and Honey

The crowning of muddog girl is my favorite event. Then there's the all you can eat contests (low entry fees make this a bargain, a hurricane or 3, good foot stomping music in the park, and thousands of drunken LSU kids.

The locals have complained about the visitors and mess for 50 years. Yet, each year the festival shows up on the calendar. Must bring in a whale of cash, or the crafty locals would have rolled up the sidewalks long ago.

I'll be the guy with the 3 chick magnets.

Toad

Yom HaShoah

I wish I wasn't so oblivious to the opportunities which surround me.

I'm not Jewish and have yet to play one on television, but growing up my family was one of few goyim living in our suburban neighborhood. Our neighbors were mostly eastern European Jewish refugees/survivors resettled to the US after the war.

I was a Catholic kid surrounded by orthodox Jews, old before their time, visibly tattooed ... an alien race according to my antisemitic 1950-60's church's teachings.

The stories my neighbors could have told, and I wouldn't have listened. I kick myself now. Today is Holocaust Remembrance Day. A day to remember the stories my neighbors would have told. Those we will never hear.

MOURNER'S KADDISH An English Translation

Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen. May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen. May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

Beltane

Today marks the Celtic festival of Beltane, the brilliant fire(sun), the beginning of summer. Beltane is a quarter day, half way between the vernal equinox and summer solstice.

Long ago Brits believed the night of April 30 was the darkest of the year, a night witches and evil spirits roamed the earth and sky spreading evil and destroying tender crops. To ward off danger kettles were banged, church bells rang, bonfires were kept lit on hilltops until sunrise.

It later became the custom to dance around the bonfires, in a clock(sun)wise direction, in what eventually evolved into a fertility rite. Over time the fires were replaced with poles creating the Maypole. The phallic pole adding visual meaning to fertility rites.


A sacred rite at my first wife's high school graduation ceremony was the Maypole dance. Even then it struck me as odd that a private catholic all-girl's school would perform a pagan fertility ritual as part of commencement.

Whether you honor the day as a pagan ritual, workers day, military parade and speech day or just a great day to be alive, welcome May. In the northern hemisphere Summer will soon arrive.

Toad

It needs the right brolly

Sartorialist Photo

This is one of Scott Schuman's earliest blog photos. The man in the photo appeared several times in the Sartorialist and has since cost a small fortune as I have attempted to incorporate some of his looks into my wardrobe. This photo has long been an inspirational favorite, but I hadn't tried it.

It's a tricky combo to pull off. Outside of a garden, light pink, bright yellow & blue is not a natural act. Care is required to get the hues right. The pants and shirt combo need the jacket. Otherwise, too much is too much.

Theoretically, it's spring clothes season, yet Mayberry is cold and damp. To lighten my spirits and encourage spring weather to return I gave old Mr. Yellow Pant's outfit a try. I traded his cords for poplin, used my brolly, and wore my favorite navy db jacket. It came off better than expected.

All I need now is a pink stripped brolly.

Toad

Toad Suck Daze

Easter is over, crops are planted, the weather's warming. Spring festivals are in full force this weekend.

Should you find yourself near the middle of Arkansas, a tad north of Little Rock, say nearby Conway this weekend, be certain to have rain gear on hand, or better an ark. It's Toad Suck Daze in Conway, and it near always rains, powerfully, biblically hard. A fun time is had though, and a lot of money is raised for local schools. The organizers want your contribution too.

Having brought this attraction to your attention last year, your comments have warmed many a chilly night.

As long as you've come this far, check in on the construction of the Medieval Castle if you can get there. from the castle it's a hop, skip and a jump to Martha's, and probably closer to Tulsa than Little Rock.

Toad

Rainwear

from tumblr

Daddy's money or fashion trumps? While verily I understand suffering for your art, some things are simply beyond male understanding.

For instance, take the photo below which appeared in Bill Cunningham's column in the NY Times 2 Sundays ago.

Bill Cunningham- NYT

In olden days rainwear protected the wearer from the elements. Kept one comfortable, dry, presentable for your next engagement, all the while looking if not stylish at least pragmatic.

Sartorialist photo

So what's Bill's gal gonna do? Her stilts might keep her out of puddles, but what's to save her from the cold, or splashes?

Boys may not have the sense to come out of the rain, but at least they dress for the occasion.

Toad

Salter's Suit

I saw this old photo of author James Salter on the New York Social Diary site several days ago. I tend to liberate white suit photos, even if the suits are in fact screaming yellow or khaki. In black and white who cares?

By Jill Krementz, June 1975

Take a close look at the jacket detail. Is this a safari suit? I'm troubled by the two flapped chest pockets, but love the cuff detail. I've never seen the likes of this on a suit jacket in real life. Have you?

Toad

Mudd Grove

watercolor by Joe McGauley

This is a bit of stretch but work with me. In our continuing exploration of Civil War era St. Louis Mrs. T and I visited Mudd Grove, an early 1850's pile in one of the area's first suburbs, home to one Henry Mudd.

An 1848 a cholera epidemic wiped out nearly 10% of the population of St. Louis. In 1849 a fire destroyed 400 buildings and boats along the riverfront. In reaction to the epidemic, cemeteries were closed, slums were torn down, laws were passed outlawing epidemics.

The fire brought changes to the local building code. The mayor owned a brick foundry and passed legislation banning wooden buildings, which not only changed the landscape of STL, but the influx of Italian brick workers changed local cuisine forever.

Those that could, made tracks to join the wagon trains heading west, or made arrangements to move to the newly planned suburbs. Local planter, politician and opportunist Henry Mudd saw the chance of a lifetime. Along with a consortium of swells, the ingenious Mudd plotted along with the Pacific Railway to buy up excess land along the RR's planned route west out of St. Louis. It didn't hurt that Mudd was county assessor at the time. The swells bought the land from the railroad, saved the best for themselves, and hired Scottish engineer James Kirkwood to plat what is now the city of Kirkwood, Mo.. The railroad offered new suburbanites an easy commute to their downtown offices. Their plan worked like a charm.

James Kirkwood came recommended by the Pacific. His claim to fame was having designed the Starruca Viaduct in eastern Pennsylvania, at the time the largest and most expensive stone viaduct railroad bridge in the world. Kirkwood liked it here, and stayed, later to become chief engineer for the City of St. Louis, eventually being replaced by poet Walt Whitman's brother, Thomas Jefferson Whitman.

Starruca Viaduct

Here comes the Civil War connection.

Our Mudd had a Maryland cousin, Dr. Sam Mudd.

Dr Sam Mudd

The good doctor was most likely a co-conspirator with one of his patients, actor John Wilkes Booth, the man who killed President Lincoln. Booth broke his leg in a fall during his escape after the assassination. Dr. Mudd set Booth's leg and provided help navigating the swamps around Chesapeake Bay to presumed safety in Virginia. 146 years ago today Booth was killed by US Cavalry troops while on the run.

In June 1865, Mudd was tried as a co-conspirator to the assassination, found guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment in the Dry Tortuga's, south of Key West. In 1869, President Johnson overturned Mudd's sentence, who then returned to Maryland, practiced medicine, farmed and ran for political office unsuccessfully several times. He died in 1883.

Toad

A Royal Wedding Question

Ladies a royal wedding question or 2 please.

We've all attended weddings where too young children are given a ceremonious role,be it flower boy, or ring bearer. More often then not it's a disaster in the making. The kid freaks, so dad steps in, takes their hand and walks or carries them, which ruins the photos. It's not cute.

So imagine Kate's anxiety. Her maid of honor is her sister, Bill's best man's his brother. According to this month's Vanity Fair, her 4 bridesmaids are 3(2), 7(1) & 8(1) years old, while the 2 pages are 8 & 10. Making a 3 yo hike the main aisle (a not inconsiderable distance) in a packed Westminster Abbey with a touch of decorum, sounds formidable.

Certainly by now, the children have been shown the Tower, and the pit bad children are tossed into. Nanny has drilled the importance of family honor and the shame of failure into their little heads. If the kids run, they know to keep going, not stopping until at least the coast of France. Yet, somehow it's all going to work out just fine, and the wedding will be beautiful.

What I know of British weddings comes from having seen 4 Weddings and a Funeral twice, so here are my questions. In America, Kate would have asked several girlfriends to be bridesmaids, and Bill would have asked his fraternity brothers to be groomsmen. Is using children as bridesmaids a British, a royal, or personal choice? Or, more hopefully, is bridesmaid, in this case an honorific. Please tell me the kids won't really be subjected to walking the gauntlet?

Just wondering.

Toad

Happy Easter

Toad

Doc Ellis and the LSD No-No

Any Pittsburgh kids around? Remember Doc Ellis? Doc was a pitcher for the Pirates in the late 60's, early 70's, a free spirit, a product of his age. He pitched a no hitter one night in San Diego. Here's Doc's story of that special day. A throwback to simpler times.

Thanks Bunky,
Toad

square rigger

This is my Lands End Square Rigger canvas brief case. It is bar none the greatest bag ever. It will expand to accept anything put inside. Almost. It's durable, sturdy, practical.

I've had mine 30 years and it may have 50 years left in it. After writing about it last summer I discovered frequent guest contributor David Bagwell has one also. That's an endorsement if ever one was.

I tell you this because they are on sale. $30 US. Get 'em while their hot. Here. It will last your life time.

Toad

Uncle Jim

I had the privilege to attend a funeral recently, the burial held in the same cemetery where many of my kin are buried. It felt odd. I hadn't been there in over 40 years then twice in a month.

Last time I was there I liberated a brochure which included a map of where local notables were buried and highlights of the grounds. Amongst the finery is an art glass door on a mausoleum. The glass is from the private chapel of James Clemens Jr, of Saint Louis.

The chapel today

Clemens' door

Clemens was uncle to a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River. Those who recognize the name, may recall that the pilot served on the steamship Pennsylvania, and had set his younger brother Henry up as a mud clerk (apprentice) on the same boat. An altercation with the captain led the older brother to leave the boat while in New Orleans. The younger stayed on, with the two brothers planning to meet at their uncle Jim's house (ostensibly to worship in his private chapel).

Uncle Jim's house, chapel is on the right

While on its return to St. Louis, the Pennsylvania exploded, killing Henry. An event his brother blamed himself and for which he never forgave himself.

On this date in 1910 James Clemens Jr. of St. Louis would have received news his nephew, former river boat pilot, Samuel L. Clemens of Redding, Connecticut had died.

Of course we know him better as Mark Twain, the original Man in White.

Toad