You cannot be everything you set your mind to!

A final childhood bubble was burst this morning and while it was a cruel, cold blow to face so early in the morning, I think it may impart a lesson, and may perhaps explain much of male nature to our softer, better smelling friends.

American children are taught, by their parents at a young age, and later the lesson is reinforced by the educational system, that with enough diligence a child may grow up to become anything he or she wants. Rich children, having watched mummy and daddy since the cradle, know perfectly well the world is their oyster. This lesson is reinforced continuously.

Smart kids see through the fallacy after a year or two of school. It's plain to them that they are brighter than the other kids, the teachers favor them, and they can out succeed their peers, anytime, any day.

It's the dumb ones, like me, who fall for it every time.

We see it, report card after report card, "not working to his potential". Is that encouraging in any way? Four times a year it's "Give the kid another round of "you can be anything....."

We dumber males take that snippet of parental "you can be anything..", and attempt to make it fit our world view, we enlarge it, expound on it. It becomes no more realistic, but it helps us through the day. No longer is it, you can become President, it's who says I can't date supermodels and actresses. I just need to work a little harder, move a little closer. Models need to date someone, why not me.

And then 50 odd years later the who facade tumbles down. Did you know that pure diligence and desire alone do not make all things possible? Matt Laurer had an interview on the Today show, with my life's most objectified, and second most desired woman, Meredith Baxter Birney. Together they dealt me a blow I may never recover from. I learned boys can't date models and actresses when the girls play for the other team.

I'm so sad.

Toad

Ralph's Print Models

I was reading through Ralph's 100 pound homage to himself over the weekend trying to find a photo taken from an old ad. Naturally, I couldn't find it, but in the mean time I was struck by an observation. Since I couldn't shake it, I am exorcising it into your heads. You can pass it on to some unsuspecting soul when the mood strikes. It's much like an old song you only know a few lyrics to, and those mostly wrong, but it just won't go away.

Ladies if you will forgive me I am going to be male today.

Every notice the print models in a Lauren ad, especially the earlier Bruce Weber photos?

By all tokens of injustice they are beautiful people. The girls all look like Mrs. L. Tall, willowy, flatish. Most are probably 15 pixalated to look 20. I CLEARLY understand their job is to strike a pose, create a mood, and sell clothing.

But guys have you ever seen one of his models you would throw everything away for, kidnap and whisk away to hike the Appalachian Trail with? Not I. How does he make their eyes so vacant? It robs them of their beauty.

Now the boy models are a completely different case. You get a sense they are real people. In this life I'm not drawn that way, but if I were or was female a lot of the men look wantable.

Am I making this up?

Toad