Thursday, August 28, 2008

I feel like I'm fixin' to die

Sloth, age and calories have taken their toll on the old Toad. I'm no longer the svelte, flat tummied boy of my youth.

So what's a vain, idle fatman to do? I joined Mayberry's newest gym, that's what.

In Mayberry idle, vain, fat people, are thick on the ground. So naturally, gyms, spas, lifestyle centers, and health clubs, are as common as weeds. Our latest opened August 15th and I made my first appearance the next day.

Week one I limited myself to a daily 45 minute jaunt on the treadmill. Just to get into a groove. It gave me time to repent my evil ways.

Week two has added several additional items of torture. Have you ever elipticaled? You have never hated life until you spend 45 minutes on this evil contraption. Add the rack and the crunch machine and your reminded you of those sweet days of the Inquisition.

Learn from my example. Repent now!!! If you don't put it on, you don't have to take it off.

Keep the shiny side up.


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