Idiot of the Week

Damon Evans



Mr. Evans,40 years old, married,with two young children, had one of the best jobs in American sports. For the past 4 years he has been Athletic Director of the University of Georgia, a sinecure, paying a not insignificant $550,000 per year.

Last week, Evans and his girlfriend were arrested for driving while intoxicated and related offences. Damon explained who he was to the police officer, asked not to be arrested, but instead that they be dropped off at a local hotel. The officer made special note of the pair of red woman's panties between Evan's knees, and against Evan's fervent wishes brought them to a facility the Atlanta police keep for just such occasions.

His self inflicted stupidity led to Evans resigning his job, probably losing his wife, who some would say foolishly, stood up for him at his goodbye broadcast and children, as well as the girlfriend, all his money and most of his stuff. Now a pariah, he's become, at least for the next couple of years, unemployable in his chosen field. Want fries with that?

As we say in our house, you can't fix stupid. I hope she was worth it.

Toad

Feeling old?

In their youth, white American kids, now of a certain age, divided the world into 3 mutually exclusive world views. The first, mostly female, was all Motown, all the time. A shy guy could get a paralytic to dance once she heard the opening bass lines to The Temptations, "My Girl".

The second were Beatles guys. The third worshiped at the altar of the Rolling Stones. If you doubt me, check the IPODS of early 60's survivors. Old habits die hard.

A parents lament in the early 60's went something like this, "That stuff's awful, it will be gone in a year or two. You won't be listening to that when your 70, that's for damned sure".

Today marks a milestone of sorts. Today's birthday boy, Richard Starkey turns 70.



Who'd a thunk? Never the best looking guy in a band, he's aged pretty well.



Married almost 30 years to Bond girl Barbara Bach, and still going strong.

Never did open the beauty salon he dreamed about.
Happy Birthday old guy.

Toad

Kinko's

During the last years of my working career, I worked from home, which I eventually found enjoyable. I did miss some of the office routine, and camaraderie of fellow employees, but I learned to cope. Then I found the local Kinko's store. "Your Home Office" as it was self described. For those unfamiliar, Kinko's is a chain of copy shops which offer a wide range of business services, such as computer rental, shipping and in olden, pre-cell phone days, had banks of telephones for customers use.

Most everyday, the same boys and girls could be found making calls, having coffee, doing their office stuff in a little suburban store front. We became each other's back office. Kinko's had an incredible business model working for a while.

Then I moved, then Kinko's moved and eventually I retired, and never thought of my friends at Kinko's again. Until last week.

We needed some blueprints copied. From the dark recesses of my little gray cells Kinko's emerged as the place to go, and since my last visit, a store opened not far away. So I went, and much the same crowd, only different was there. It was quietly reassuring.

Got there a little after lunch. As I was explaining my needs and wants to the woman at the counter, a guy who appears to be in a whale of a hurry runs in, rushes up the counter, and blurts out that he needs X done NOW!

The counter girl told him that she didn't know how to do X, Bill did, he was at lunch and he'd most likely, happily do it upon his return. Hurry boy, felt he would get faster service if he requested louder.

Can you imagine how often a counter clerk at Kinko's runs into an unprepared male?

Calmly, she retold the story of Bill, his nutritional requirements, his willingness to help, rah rah.

Rush boy looks at his watch (it's about 10 'till), "I've got an appointment on the hour, and I really need this NOW", he snapped.

Exasperated, Ms. Kinko replied, "Well sir, I guess you're F***ED".

From the look on her face, he knew she was right. Oh, how I don't miss those days.

Toad

Trusted Friends

Ask a woman what's in her closet, and 9 times out of 10 you'll be entertained by a review of her latest and greatest finds. How this ensemble, with these accessories make her look 10 years younger and feel 10 pounds lighter. Until next time, when you able to hear the same story, with a different cast of characters.

Ask a Martian, who has even a passing affinity for clothes and he'll drag out his oldest, hand me down jacket,the one with the shiny elbows, passed from father to son, smelling of father's tobacco and beloved wet dogs, and although it's 80 years old now, I'd wear the jacket on the man in the first photo in a heartbeat.

Similar articles fill available storage space and mark the line in the sand for the stereotypical battle of "what do you mean you've thrown out my good sweater".


It's this affinity for trusted garments, molded over time to ones body which lead normally sensible men, fearing the new, to throw a new jacket into a swimming pool for a few days breaking in, before line drying in the sun. Or, as in my recent case, drop a length of blue linen fabric into the washer, before its going to the alchemist, to wipe the newness off it.

Men's clothing has had 2 innovations over the past 100 years, pleated pants and one of which you'd never notice, the darted jacket. That's it.



The photo above is of Mrs. T's grandparents and a friend taken July 26,1923. The men's clothing, save for the lapels on the dude on the right, look wearable today. The silhouette of the women's clothing changed 3 more times that year and every year since.

That's why men like old clothes. We're not smart enough to keep up with the shifting tides of fashion (and we don't cotton to fur in July).

Toad

On This Day

For Americans, July 4th is the anniversary of day the British colonies in what is now the US, declared their independence from Great Britain. All over the the world Americans celebrate this date.

Beyond the Declaration of Independence, today's date is a symbolic date in America. Since we are in a party mood, its a great time for politicians and assorted big wigs to begin any number of ceremonial undertakings. For instance:

Today marks the anniversary of the founding of the US Military Academy, at West Point. Happy Birthday.

Today, marks the anniversary of the public announcement of the Louisiana Purchase. For non-Americans, the LP is the purchase for $15 million of all French territory in North America, below what is now the Canadian border. Includes most of the territory west of the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains.



Author Henry David Thoreau began his stay on Walden Pond, George Washington was unveiled on Mt. Rushmore, work began on the Erie canal.

Also in education, on this date in 1881 Tuskegee University, one of the first black colleges in America opened its doors.

In sports, The first US bull fight was held in Dodge City Kansas, the first ever rodeo was held in Prescott Az.. Joe Louis won his first professional fight, and riots broke out across the country after black fighter Jack Johnson beat a white fighter Jim Jeffries. In baseball, Yankee star Lou Gerhig retired from baseball.

The Philippines were granted full independence on this date in 1946.

The 49 star and 50 star US flags were introduced in 1959, and 1960.

In science, the Mars Rover landed.

So while we celebrate Independence Day, we have a great deal more to be thankful for. Today, is the traditional swearing in day for immigrants wishish American citizenship.

Often we forget that all Americans are immigrants. Ben Franklin railed against German immigrants in Pennsylvania, anti Irish riots were held in the midst of the US Civil War. Later, Eastern Asians were denied access,and today it is Hispanics who are unwelcome.

In spite of ourselves, this is a pretty great country. I salute and welcome our new citizens. We are a better place with you here.

Happy fourth of July.

Toad

The blue linen jacket

Once upon a time I mentioned a piece of heavy blue linen dropped into my lap. My plan was to have the alchemist convert it into an odd jacket in time for the Easter bunny. One thing led to another, and it was several months before we connected.

Connect we did though, and once again he has worked his magic. Earlier this week I paid a visit for the last fitting. Here is what I found. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...



Single button, patch pocket, side vent, 2 button cuff, peak lapel. A hybrid mix of formal peak lapel, and casual open patch pockets.



The sleeves need to be shortened, and I changed buttons at the last minute from brass and blue to something that matches the material. The lining which I forgot to snap is an old silk escape map.

The jacket will be ready Thursday so I'll include lining photos next Friday.

Toad

The end is nigh

We're old school around here.

My kids may have been the last of the line, and probably scarred for life because they wore cloth diapers. I know, I washed them.

I had a theory at the time, which is probably still true but has drifted into NMP (not my problem) that wet bottoms were uncomfortable, and kids (of an appropriate age) were more willing to be housebroken if the incentive was to stay dry.

To my mind, disposable diapers, especially for toddlers,kept them too comfortable. One of the intended consequences of disposables I've noticed from friends kids, is that many aren't broken until near school age. That's a lot of extra diapers to buy.

Check out the available sizes of a worldwide brand, and see what I mean.

Size # of diapers Weight Gender
2T-3T 26 18-34 lbs Boys
2T-3T 26 18-34 lbs Girls
3T-4T 23 32-40 lbs Boys
3T-4T 23 32-40 lbs Girls
4T-5T 19 34-50 lbs Boys
4T-5T 19 34-50 lbs Girls


Not throwing stones, but somehow a 50lb.(23k) kid in diapers ain't right.

All may not be lost though. The Huggies folks, just in time for summer, have added a sartorial touch to their line of disposable diapers. Now junior can look just like mom and dad.



Huggies tagline: "The coolest you'll look pooping your pants."



Toad

The Mourners

Have you ever been blown away by art? I mean stopped in your tracks, take your breath away, heart poundingly, awed? Have you ever, even once, mourned the death of someone who died almost 600 years ago?



I dragged Mrs. T into the big city yesterday to go the Saint Louis Art Museum's exhibit "The Mourners".

The mourners are a series of 39 alabaster sculptures, each about 15 inches tall, from the tomb of John the Fearless, Duke of Burgundy from 1404 until 1419. Commissioned by the Duke's son, Phillip the Good, the carvings were completed by Jean de la Huerta and Antoine Le Moiturier around 1456.

During the Revolution many of the sculptures were borrowed by anti-royalists, but over time most were recovered and reunited with John's tomb in Dijon.






John's tomb is being restored, which allowed the opportunity for the sculptures to go on tour, (and pay for the restoration?). Once the restoration is complete it is thought they will never leave Dijon again.

Until then, there are 5 more cities to visit, closing in Richmond Va. in January 2012.

If you have the opportunity go, go often. The quality of the work is astounding, the emotion they evoke is visceral. These are masterworks.
Toad

The warm fuzzies

I've mentioned in passing my current fling with photography blogs. I'm more visually than print oriented, although I have zero talent for taking snapshots, and am unlikely to improve. One of the blogs I've come across is All things Photography a Russian site, featuring for the most part, Russian and Eastern European photographers, in Russian and Eastern European settings. Make certain to have Google translate for you.

This is not necessarily a plug for the site, as its a time sink. There are about 100 photos posted per day, and 2 or 3 may not be for family consumption.

That said, I know near to nothing about Russia. From viewing the posts I've gathered the people are beautiful, the landscapes stunning and the photographers are very talented.

This photo, while not artistically meaningful, brought me up sharp.



Click on the photo. Look closely at the background.

God knows, the coal and oil industries have bamboozled Americans for generations about the dangers of nuclear energy, and while my power is provided by a nuclear plant, I am uncertain I would want one in my backyard.

After Chernobyl, I bet these folks had some sleepless nights.

Toad

Is it just me?

Don't get me wrong, I am well intentioned. I try each and every day to make my part of the world a little bit better place. I care.

But, still I wonder.

Is it just me or has it suddenly become a lot tougher to want to be "green", to reduce your carbon footprint, to care about big picture environmental issues, to recycle & reuse, when each of our lifetimes personal environmental saving effort is devoured in less than a second by BP's oil spills?

Am I the only one who feels like a sap, especially now when its time to redouble our efforts?

Toad

Obsession

Three photos. Three summer looks. I'm besotted

The first shows Prince Charlie at a Cartier Polo match.

It's rare to see the Prince in public looking so casual. Must be the new wife. Perfectly turned out of course. Usually he looks like he has a stick up his *** . Today he simply looks well dressed.

The next photo from The Sartorialist. Ah, to be so young, or so trim. I love this jacket.


Simultaneously, casual, formal, and elegant. Note the opposite of ADG's conceit with the open ticket pocket. There's something about white linen jackets in the summertime.




Finally, also from The Sartorialist. I think this is perfect, and not just for West Palm or Miami Beach. There is something so right about the color. I've kidded myself into thinking I could pull this off, without looking like the Great Pumpkin.

Having spent the last week searching for orange linen jacket material. This is as close as I've come.



I'm just not sure it's heavy enough.

Toad

Oh Happy Day

Once upon a time a man and woman fell in love, married, and had a child. The child was happy and grew up in a home surrounded by the love of her expansive and extended family. She learned by her parents example how to love and return love unselfishly.

The girl became a woman, underwent the usual ups and downs of life, yet never lost her gift of love. Today, because of her, I now know true love. It's the most magical gift I have ever received. It gives meaning and reason to my existence.

That woman, today's birthday girl, is my bride, Mrs. T.


Mrs. T professes to be shy and feigns annoyance whenever she shows up on these pages, but its all an act. She loves the attention, and especially loves being queen of Mrs. T world. I'm happy just to trail behind.

Adored, Happy Birthday. I can't wait to share the next 50 with you.

Toad

garech browne

'It takes the Honourable Garech Browne about 20 minutes to drive to the nearest village, but most of that time is spent exiting his own property. Luggala, Browne's 5,000-acre demesne in southern Ireland, isn't so much an estate as a kingdom, a veritable Middle Earth of heather-covered mountains, silvery waterfalls and lakes, emerald forest and meadows.' (Quoted from article In W Magazine, February 2003, http://luggala.net/_wsn/)


'The Hon. Garech Domnagh Browne', born 25 June, 1939, is a member of the titled family of Oranmore and Browne in the West of Ireland and is a wealthy patron of Irish arts, notably traditional Irish music. He is often known by the gaelic designation of his name, Garech de Brún, especially in Ireland. He is the eldest of the three sons of Dominick Browne, the 4th Lord Oranmore and Browne and Oonagh Guinness, daughter of Hon. Arthur Ernest Guinness, wealthy heiress to the Guinness fortune and youngest of the three "Golden Guinness Girls". His father had the rare distinction of sitting silently in the House of Lords for 72 years until his death at age 100 in August, 2002, without ever having spoken in debate.

As both his parents were married three times, he has had two step-mothers and two step-fathers and also has a number of elder half siblings. His only full brother, The Hon. Tara Browne was a young London socialite whose untimely death at age 22 in a car crash in London's West End was immortalised in song by John Lennon. (He blew his mind out in a car...)

Garech was educated at Institut Le Rosey, Switzerland and though he is a member of the extended Guinness family, he takes no active part in its brewing business. Since the 1960s, he has been a leading proponent for the revival and preservation of traditional Irish music, through his record label Claddagh Records which he founded.

His former house, Woodtown Manor, near Dublin was for many years a welcoming place for Irish poets, writers and musicians and which was associated with the folk-pop group Clannad, where they made many recordings of their music. When in Ireland, he lives at Luggala set deep in the Wicklow mountains. The house has been variously described as a castle or hunting lodge of large proportions which he inherited from his mother. It has a fairytale setting and is famous for its hospitality and house parties since the time of his mother's residency.

Garech was instrumental in the formation of the world-renowned traditional Irish folk group, The Chieftains. When he asked his friend, the famed uileann piper, Paddy Moloney, in the early sixties to form a group for a one-off album for the Claddagh label, Paddy came up with the first line-up of The Chieftains, the membership of which has hardly changed since its foundation.

He is instantly recognisable by his famous pony-tail, wispy beard, tweed suit and dapper appearance.

He was married in 1981 to the Princess Harshad Purna Devi of Morvi, daughter of His Highness Sri Mahendra Sinhji, Maharaja of Morvi in India where he spends part of each year.

Happy Birthday

Toad

On a sadder matter, Paige is finally safe and sound at home. Our home is much quieter. The dogs have spent much of the day looking for her.

Never too Young

Last weekend my daughter Katy and her husband were in town to attend her cousin's wedding. The wedding was Friday, and Katy asked if she could have a swimming party here Saturday afternoon. Party on.

I think they and their friends had a good time. I wasn't certain until yesterday when we received this thank you note from the 2 youngest partiers, 2 1/2 yo Joe and his brother 1 1/2 yo Robby.

The guys may have a hard time, but the moms should get this in a heartbeat.

The first picture, in orange crayon, thank you, shows the 2 little boys swimming in our pool.


The reverse side:

signed Robby and Joe at the top. Bottom says Thank you. But you knew that.

We haven't had a fridge picture in donkeys years. It made our summer.

Toad

Where's my brolly?

Like my namesake, my obsessions come and go. Enthusiasms tend to last a very long time. My latest obsession is photography blogs. They deserve their own post, but later.

I came across this photo, which happens to coincide with another enthusiasm, and a pet peeve.


I'm suggesting nothing untoward, but something is wrong with this photo.

Gentlemen of a certain stripe worship at the altar of James Smith and Sons, purveyors of umbrellas, and walking sticks to the gentry since 1830 in the same London location since forever.
Their shop is a treasure trove of Victorian era elegance. The staff, much of it family, can size a customer up on his way in the door. Old Comrades of all British military units have purchased their obligatory mufti brollies there for generations.

Smith's most iconic brolly is the Whangee handled wooden shaft model. Their web site describes it thus:

WHANGEE CANE WITH A SILVER LAPBAND

Whangee cane handle with a silver lapband. (GFUJS.WHANGEE.LP). All these umbrellas can be adjusted to the correct walking length for each customer. Prices from £275.00

ADG tells the story of finding his silk covered topper left behind in a London cab. For the price of a monthly house payment, plus shipping both ways, Smith would gladly recover it for him.

My two are the nylon topped, more pedestrian model, which have provided excellent service for a number of years.

One of a Londoner's great fears is to leave the brolly in the umbrella stand inside the door of his local, and to forget it or have someone walk off with it by "mistake". Cheap umbrellas do not make the man.

Like all style affections, 99% of the population never notice something as provocative as a expensive umbrella. Those in the know, know, and judge accordingly.

So go back to the first photo. The chap on the right strike you as a Smith's man?

Toad

Grandpa day

Part of the fun of Grandpa Day is the opportunity to try new things, in the name of being the cool grandpa, while all the while maintaining traditions. One of our traditions is going to the movies, Paige picks, I buy.

We have seen some turkeys over the years. Remember Kung Foo Panda? I was there. The Pokemon movie? Seen it. Paige and I disagree on the worst of our adventures. She says her worst of all was Wallace and Grommet, either because she was too young, or poor home training. I hope for the former. I'm voting for Pokemon.

Today was my initiation to the Toy Story franchise, in 3 D thank you.

Those of you awaiting some snarky, I'd wish I had never been born commentary, are going to be disappointed. I liked it. Seen in a crowded theater with lots of kids and cute moms escaping hellish outside temps, it was a very pleasant way to kill a couple of hours. I even cried at the end. If you have kids that age, you are going anyway, so there is no need for my endorsement, but I give it unconditionally anyway.

What came as the biggest surprise was the 3D angle. Paige tells me there is 3D and Real3D. My inaugural was Real3D, and I'm hooked. I may never willing see another 2 D flick ever ever. If you are drifting into geezerhood, and don't have kids at the ready, take yourself just to be amazed at the viewing experience. The trailers will blow you away.

Back to the pool.
Toad

The Goldberg Variations

The household wall of family photos is a phase which comes and goes with some regularity. Much like kid's stories, they're fun when it's your kids, but it doesn't travel well. For my money the Goldberg family photo trumps all comers.

It includes all the necessary elements: it's easy, portable, expandable, shrinkable and most important inexpensive. Truly, a gift that keeps on going, and going, and going .

I have tried 15 ways to Sunday to enlarge the photo to make it visible, but it is beyond my skills. Crass as this may be, I ask you to follow the link. You'll ask yourself, "why didn't I think of that?"

http://www.howtobearetronaut.com/2010/06/one-family-30-years/

Happy summer/winter to y'all.

Toad

RIP Diaperman

On my honor, when the Mothership came to town, things happened. Father's locked up their daughters, police went on high alert, drug dealers went into overdrive. It was better than any circus, anywhere.

I'm talking of course about, George Clinton's bands, Parliment-Funkadelic and the P-Funk All Stars.

George was a barber in Plainsfield N. J. One of his customers was a youth named Garry Shider, who along with his brothers sang vocals and backed up touring gospel groups that came through town. Garry also joined a group of kids, the the founding members of Funkadelic, who sang doo-whop at Clinton's barbershop. Garry's notable talent and drive, with George's support eventually led Garry to become the musical director of Parliment-Funkadelic and the P-Funk All Stars, and a place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

They were a group you had to see live to believe, and you still doubted what you saw. Such a show you never ever saw before or since. As a rule, the band would begin playing, with people walking all over the stage. Most had nothing to do with the band, but danced or sang and had a boatload of energy. An hour or so later George would appear and the energy level increased another 10 fold. The band did rock.

Garry, also know as Diaperman, because of the loincloth he wore on stage, died last week from various forms of cancer.

Respect to his family.
Toad

General Order Number 3

On January 1, 1863 US President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed all slaves in states which seceeded from the US, except those in areas under Yankee control. Since the "rebellious states" saw themselves as a separate country, the effect was the same as the President freeing the British from Ireland.

Not until the end of the war was there universal emancipation.

In June 1865 federal troops under the command of Major General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, Texas to restore federal control to the formerly rebellious state. General Granger's third General Order issued on this date, enforced the Emancipation proclamation and ordered that all remaining slaves in Texas be immediately freed.

General Granger

On January 1, 1980, Juneteenth became an official Texas state holiday through the efforts of Al Edwards, an African American state legislator. The successful passage of this bill marked Juneteenth as the first emancipation celebration granted official state recognition. Edwards has since actively sought to spread the observance of Juneteenth all across America.

Toad

taking Friday off

I am joyously in full grandpa mode for the next several days.

Tomorrow, I promise to return in fine fettle, but today is hot and humid, and I have a house load of friends and family, and the pool beckons.



In preparation for our weekend guests, I spent a bit of time cleaning the pool house. I had finished the right side when I broke for lunch. When I returned 30 minutes later I was greeted with this nest on the window sill. By dinner an egg was on deposit. There's always something.



Enjoy your weekend, but stop in tomorrow.

Toad