Why not get hurt too?

Not even deep down, actually very close to the surface, I despise my daily routine at the gym. That said, I am glad I go. Builds moral fiber.

Thus far I've been fortunate that I haven't hurt anything permanently. So I decided why not tempt the gods, just to see if they are paying attention.

Today I start yoga class.

Mrs. T and I tried this several years ago. I silently cursed every minute in class, yet curiously left exhilarated. Fat men are not (yet) as limber as the young women who populate these classes. It is certainly not a competitive activity, but still I hope to keep up. I'm near certain to tear something, most likely something I've never seen.

Wish me luck. If this doesn't work, I may have to resort to Tai Chi.

Toad

I feel like I'm fixin' to die

Sloth, age and calories have taken their toll on the old Toad. I'm no longer the svelte, flat tummied boy of my youth.

So what's a vain, idle fatman to do? I joined Mayberry's newest gym, that's what.

In Mayberry idle, vain, fat people, are thick on the ground. So naturally, gyms, spas, lifestyle centers, and health clubs, are as common as weeds. Our latest opened August 15th and I made my first appearance the next day.

Week one I limited myself to a daily 45 minute jaunt on the treadmill. Just to get into a groove. It gave me time to repent my evil ways.

Week two has added several additional items of torture. Have you ever elipticaled? You have never hated life until you spend 45 minutes on this evil contraption. Add the rack and the crunch machine and your reminded you of those sweet days of the Inquisition.

Learn from my example. Repent now!!! If you don't put it on, you don't have to take it off.

Keep the shiny side up.

Toad