Billy Mays where are you?

My wife and family take immense pleasure reminding me, often, that I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. It's been my cross to bear for many years. I know it, and compensate, by observing the "best practices" of husbands whose high usefulness have been pointed out as exemplars. My current model, is the husband of a noted Kansas City writer.

So, Tuesday afternoon, Mrs. T asked what was on my plate for the day. It was a gorgeous March day. Atypically warm, near 80, with a chance of snow for later in the day.

I reminded her of our appointment with the taxman Thursday, and mentioned I have not yet begun preparations. So being a glorious day I went outside.

There is a job I have put off long enough. Today was the day.

I love porch rockers. We have 4 that are out year round. They are perfect whenever you want to think a job through. They are not perfect whenever they are black with mold and mildew.


In the fall I attempted power washing them, but they laughed at my ministrations. So I took the high road.

Now, every woman on the planet knows that you cannot do what I did. There is a product that removes mold and mildew from wooden rockers. Billy Mays sells it. I don't have a clue what it is.

So I resorted to the traditional method utilized by grandmothers in days gone by.

STRAIGHT BLEACH.

Took a plastic dish, a bottle of bleach, paint brush, and a hose. Mrs. T took one look at me and I got the dreaded eye roll, followed by the what's the matter with you?

The paint brush was powerful inefficient but the result was wonderful.

So what is the RIGHT way?

Toad