NOLA

Honest to god, my wife was raised amongst wolves.

For reasons still unclear, immediately after finalizing our plans to go to New Orleans, she invited her parents to tag along. They are each near 80, and each within 6 weeks of having had major surgery. Sure they would love to go.

Then her parents invited friends. The friends invited friends. The AARP couldn't have drawn a larger crowd.

Somehow, I was the designated tour director. As designated tour director my duties included making reservations at the better restaurants in town, arranging the car service to transport everyone the 6 blocks to lunch or dinner and best of all to meet their final demand.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE WAS ANY MALE WEARING A TIE OR A JACKET TO LUNCH OR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In fact, the oldsters made certain that I understood they felt put upon wearing long pants.

A few things worked in my favor. Even major restaurants are feeling the pain. If you call to make reservations for 10 people, outlining their restrictions and are willing to dine at 5pm, in or near the kitchen, all is well. My charges went to bed at 8, so 5 was no problemo.

What was especially funny, was watching the $60/head dinner check getting passed around nightly. Prices have risen in the 40 years since their last visit. I made certain they tipped well.

The next hassle while predicted, arrived as planned.

Ever watch old people competitively eating? 80 year olds, with a straight face, telling the wait staff how they love Cajun spices. Make it hotter, dad gummit. Spices they c(w)ouldn't have eaten 40 years ago were wolfed down ravenously. Most of the codgers made it to their rooms before being overcome by near death experiences. Breakfasts were missed. Brunches were replaced by Tums and ice cream. They never missed dinner though, cocktails began promptly at 5pm, when it all started anew.

Toad