Which Service Dog?

Funny Fidos

I feared we needed a fifth dog, but knew how tough a sell that would be. Maybe just a white cane would suffice, and someone could train one of our beasts to do perform service duty. The more I tried to imagine which of our dogs I would entrust my life, the more preferable a black capsule sounded.

Problem is, I'm having trouble seeing. My head and eyes hurt, my vision is blurred. I go to the eye doctor every decade whether I need to or not, regular as clockwork, but now 6 years hence, my glasses aren't working. My distance vision is deteriorating. Why do I always imagine the worst?

So while my girls slept in, I snuck off to have my head examined. Turns out I don't need a seeing eye dog. AT MY TENDER AGE, MY VISION IS IMPROVING! I don't have a tumor or adult onset blindness. My current script is simply too strong, that's why I don't see so good. If taken today, I'd pass the drivers eye exam without restriction. Hallelujah.

When told I have neither glaucoma nor cataracts I asked if I could start smoking. Alas, no but don't need arm extenders either. Oh happy day.

toad

goggles and the drivers test

Vanity they name is .....

Missouri has an extra special birthday gift for its citizens. Your drivers license expires on your birthday. Mrs. T's drivers license was scheduled to expire Sunday, and her anxiety of passing the eye exam was something to witness. She fretted about it for weeks.

I've worn glasses most of my life, without them I can barely see the ground. My child bride has never worn goggles and although she is fighting an eye infection, and can no longer read a menu without strong light and longer arms, that counts for nothing. She find a reading eye dog before she would not allow her license to be besmirched by any "need for corrective lens" restriction.

Occasionally I'd hear her mutter, "I wonder what's on the test. Maybe if I listen closely to the person in front of me and memorize the answer..." I'd reply, "I believe you know the answers, A, B, C, D" Judging by the abuse heaped on me, I was not a help.

Her big day came Friday. Armed with 3 forms of identification and a passing knowledge of her ABC's, Mrs. T arrived at the DMV office prepared for battle. The examiner verified her address, took her photo and check, printed her new license and never once administered an eye test. Instantly, the sky cleared and all was right with the world.

She lives a charmed life.

Toad