The Other Cure

In life there are few chances to grab for the brass ring so when opportunity knocks you gotta make it count. I've had a solid, genuine, fortune earning observation over the weekend, but haven't a clue how to turn it into gold. Maybe with your help...

In an effort to drum up business, our local PBS station broadcast Eric Clapton's 2010 Crossroads Guitar Festival film. About half way through I had this incredible insight.

Rock and Roll guitarists don't go bald, don't have thinning hair, they exhibit no signs of MPB. I credit, as Dr. Phil would diagnose, metal toxicity. A life time of rubbing your fingers on steel guitar strings obviously keeps hair fresh and young.

To wit: Clapton, Jeff Beck, Ronnie Wood, all the other Stones, Albert Lee, Steve Winwood, Dylan, The Monkees, McCartney, Bruce, each and every one fully folicled. Sheryl Crow too. Picture your favorite band. Not a guitarist comb over in sight. Balding rockers are the exception. Defies probability.

Certainly there is no shame in baldingness. I'm a survivor myself, but judging from the late night television commercials, there is a pot of gold awaiting whomever cures baldness. Entire treasuries more if we relieve the sufferings of women with thinning locks.

I can visualize the infomercial now, "But Wait..." Just can't picture the product.

Toad

Awesome People

Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Warren G. Harding and Harvey Firestone 1921

I tumbled across an incredibly awesome site, Awesome People Hanging out Together. A collection of photos of famous people you wouldn't think would be in the same room together; Gates and Jobs, Woody and Michael Jackson, Newman and Brando. It's a great site I hope you like it. Photo above from Awesome People.

toad

Le Mans

Tomorrow is the beginning of the annual running of the worlds longest automobile endurance race, made famous by speed king Steve McQueen-Le Mans.

photo from Aston Martin

Prior to the arrival of Scottish racing legend Jackie Stewart and his quest for racing safely, automobile racers had never heard of safety. Drivers assumed they were ticking time bombs who would die in their car. Most did. Racers at Le Mans lined up on one side of the track, the cars lined up fastest to slowest on the other. At 4 pm local time the drivers would race across the track, jump into their car, start it and take off. Seat belts, like hockey masks for goalies, were for babies.

In 1969, six time winner Jackie Ickx registered his protest of the start by walking across the track, almost being run over, and not starting until he was fully fastened. That fact he won the race was not lost on the officials who changed the starting procedure, requiring all drivers be fastened in their car for the start the next year.

In 24 hours the fastest cars will travel the equivalent of driving from New York to Los Angeles and back to St. Louis.

Enjoy your weekend

Toad

Phil's 90th

Tomorrow is the 90th birthday of the world's most irascible man, HRH the Duke of Edinburgh. In the US we only get the highly polished, heavily edited version of HRH. Around the Empire and Foreign Office he is better known for his not so politically correct mutterings. Here thanks to ListServe are some of his more famous observations.



1. China State Visit, 1986

If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.

2. To a blind women with a guide

“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”

3. To an Aborigine in Australia

“Do you still throw spears at each other?”

4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation

“Where did you get the hat?”

5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

“The bastards murdered half my family”

6. To a Briton in Budapest

“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”

7. To a driving instructor in Scotland

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

8. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea

“You managed not to get eaten, then?”

9. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin

“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”

10. On the London Traffic Debate

“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”

11. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

12. Unknown

“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”

13. On key problems facing Brazil

“Brazilians live there”

14. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean

“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”

15. ‘If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.’ To a meeting of the World Wildlife Fund in 1986.

Happy Birthday sir, may you live forever and continue to share your opinions with the rable.

Toad

Mea Culpa

Once upon a time a seemingly angry, yet mistaken woman let slip that men don't, or won't follow instructions, read manuals, or ask for directions. Like most other urban legends this egregious lie took on a life of its own, and ever since men have been unfairly tarred with the directions brush. Except for me. I have it coming, and am required to share with the world my faux pas.

I didn't read the manual. A job that had I read the manual first, would have taken 30 minutes in balmy weather, has since taken the better part of 3 days in near 100F (36C) temps to complete. Once I finally read the manual my task was completed in less than half an hour.

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa. Hold me up as the exception rather than the rule.

Toad

Race for the cure this weekend

The St. Louis affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure race takes place this coming Saturday (6/11). Participate if you're nearby or donate generously if you know someone participating. Additionally there are Dine Out events during the week, if you are put off by walking in the heat.

Breast cancer is not a woman's disease, it effects us all.

Toad

Focal Point

Do you have a favorite view of your home? A secret scene that comforts you, your personal focal point. For some it may be the vista you encounter pulling in the drive, or the first glimpse of home as you turn onto your street, or look towards your front door. We each have our own.

The photo above is mine. It's the view of the veranda (can we have piazza's in Mayberry?) taken while standing between the pool house and an overgrown boxwood.

When we moved in, the house had been unoccupied for several years, and had several misadventures in the years before that. The grounds were neglected, in the midst of a drought, unloved and uncared for. My joy is the magnolia. Near death when we arrived now it's happy and thriving, albeit badly pruned.

Magnolia seeds taken 2 winters ago are now sprouting, protected from deer, and awaiting replanting in their new home. Under the magnolia, along the house on both sides of the porch are deep red azaleas. All I need now to complete my "Southern" garden is a bit of Confederate (star) Jasmine. It's unavailable here, can anyone recommend a source?

Looking south from the porch, you see this.

The box hedge (Wintergreen) was inspired by 2 issues of House and Garden, December 2002, and April 2005, and planted from cuttings taken from friend's gardens. There was nothing there when we moved in, just a large slab of white, the ass end of the pool house.

From here it looks a mess, but that is only because I could never figure out if box should be trimmed at one height so all the branches grow together or to pinch each branch when it reaches the desired height and wait for the stragglers to catch up. It seemed a coin toss, so I chose the latter. Also, the ground falls over a foot from right to left, and I failed to take that into account while planting. With 75 running feet of boxwood hedge I've since come to curse the author of "All you need to know about Boxwood", although it's still a tremendous reference.

The neatly trimmed back side offers hope for the future.


Toad

Simple Jobs for the Simple Minded

One of the true advantages to being simple minded is that I'm a sucker for doing jobs providing instant gratification. Cutting grass, doing dishes, folding laundry, painting, whatever job needs doing, so long as the reward for a job well done can be seen now.

This week was nirvana for we addled. I was able to enjoy the week outside. Finally, we opened the pool, power washed the deck, pool house, gutters, and porch, partook of the annual cleaning of the rockers.


Trimmed the boxwoods,

Before

Cleaned the gutters and siding

Apres

Powerwashed the sidewalks


and pool deck

Finally, topped off by killing the Iron Horse. Now I don't have to cut the grass any more. Bring on the goats.


Enjoy your Sunday, you've earned it. I know I will.

Toad

Maybe-Maybe Not

While trolling, I came across this ad.

Cute shoes, but their imagery bears no real likeness.

For my money, Cole Haan could have left well enough alone.

toad

Something jaunty?

Many thanks to Unabashedly Prep and saint james boutique

I don't know how to post photos in comments, or even if you can. I was thinking more of a solid polo.

Toad

It sounded like a good idea at the time

Not long after Christmas, taking advantage of a J Peterman sale, I acquired 2 double breasted cotton twill jackets. One screaming yellow, the other Georgia Bulldog red. At the time they didn't fit well, but they didn't have to in January, besides my investment was minimal.

So now it is June, they do fit, but what was I to do with screaming yellow? It's a tad loud, and not in a good way. There is nothing subtle about this coat.

Double breasted jackets come with rules. Since they are more formal than singles, the shirt is expected to be more formal, hence no button downs, and look better with a tie. DB's must also be kept buttoned. An unbuttoned DB looks sloppy. When in doubt about how to wear DB take a gander at almost any photo of Prince Charles, he usually does it right, except when... I blame the wife.

So I have this formal jacket in an particularly unformal shade, in which I fully intend to break most of the rules while wearing. It's a summer jacket after all! For starters I had to turn the flavor down a few notches. Two days soaking in the pool worked like magic, and provided another opportunity for Mrs. T to counsel about how I took a perfectly good coat and now it looks 10 years old. That's how I knew the color was perfect.

Now the coat needs a bath to get the chlorine out, a good pressing, someone to stand straight while wearing it, and it's ready to go.

I've tried the same pool treatment on the red, it just won't fade. Currently it's hanging outside in the sun. I've no call for a Bulldog red coat, but I can visualize the faded hunting coat red it could be.

I've got time.

Toad

For the guy who has everything

Gotta act quickly as bidding ends around 12:30 PM today.

Teddy Kaczynski- The Unabomber's personal hoodie and sunglasses collection up for auction by the General Services Administration.

I wouldn't suggest using your real name or address when bidding. It's likely your name will go a a double secret report of some sort. For the more adventurous the rest of his stash is here: Ted Stuff

Toad

June

Why so many June weddings? Certainly, in the northern hemisphere the weather is decent,gardens and florists have plenty on offer, schools are out, weddings take about 6 months to plan after Christmas engagements.

The ancient explanation for so many June weddings is derived from the month's namesake, the Roman goddess Juno, the goddess of marriage, daughter of Saturn, chief wife of Jupiter. Protector of women, and the young. The Scottish word june, means to follow. Pretty good advice to all husbands.

So what gives in June?

On this date in 1788 Virginia ratified the US constitution, in 1792 Kentucky was admitted as our 15th. state, in 1796 Tennessee was granted statehood, Franklin and Transylvania not withstanding. Happy Birthday to each.

For those who honor such things, Jeff Davis's Birthday is Friday. The Derby at Epsom Downs is next weekend. The Belmont Stakes, DC Jazz Festival, Royal Ascot, Wimbledon are coming up, as are Juneteenth, the solstice, mid summer, and the anniversary of Mrs. T's birth.

For a fairly complete list check here.

Toad

On this date

From: Tickets

DAR.FM

The Sony Walkman and Apple Ipod not only forever changed the music industry but near killed commercial radio. Save for wake up time and while driving do you ever turn on the radio? Do you stream more out of town stations (WWOZ) than local? Would you listen more if you could record radio shows from whatever station you wanted, and play them at your convenience? The folks at Digital Audio Recorder are betting the ranch you would.

Suppose you were that crabby mom near Atlanta who enjoys Prairie Home Companion, but hates that it's only on Saturday during prime cocktail hour. DAR.FM records PHC and/or whatever else you want for playback when you want, on your choice of platforms.

It's currently in Beta, and a little wonky, but worth your while. Yes, Canadian, the Beeb and other "out of town" stations are included.

Toad

Memorial Day

Southampton Hospital Summer Party

PanacheMag.com

Somewhere along the way towards your weekend and holiday events give pause and remember why it's called Memorial Day,


and thank a Vet.

Toad

Gil Scott-Heron-RIP

Thanks for the memories.

oranga glad he paid attention

BEFORE



AFTER
Thank you William for setting a great example.



Photos once again from The Preppy Princess

Toad

it takes a very rich man...

Several weeks ago I was seeking the source for the quote "only very rich men wear seersucker clothes." As so frequently happens, fate stepped in in the guise of The Elegantologist who led a post with that quote, attributed to Damon Runyon.

In the late 19th century US, seersucker was a poor mans cloth. Found mostly in the south, it began as a cheap, lightweight substitute for silk. In 1909 Haspel began making seersucker suits in New Orleans. By the mid 1920's fashionable northern college students picked up on it. Runyon went on to write " that his new habit for wearing seersucker was "causing much confusion among my friends. They cannot decide whether I'm broke of just setting a new vogue."

Brooks Brothers introduction of light cotton summer suiting, including seersucker, lent the suit it's patrician image. The idea being, only the rich could afford to look disheveled. Brooks still vends a great off the rack seersucker suit.

What prompted this history lesson was a trip through EBAY. BB's Black Fleece headboy Thom Browne has designed a seersucker suit for the new millennium. An yes it takes a very rich man, gone soft in the head to wear it. Shown above,$3200 retail, pre worn for your convenience $1450. I merely report the news, I have no hand in this sale.

Toad

Dating Tips for Gentlemen-Redux

Several of my favorite posts date to when I was writing to an audience of 1, so I decided it was time to bring some favorites back into the light, in the hope of benefiting those were not here for the first go, and who don't read archives. This from September 24, 2008, moderately edited. It resurfaced in mid '09. Time to dust it off once more, with gusto, just in time for a long weekend.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It may be reasonably asked, Toad you're old and married, where do you get off giving dating tips? Let me answer this way. Consider it a public service. Also, because I am older, wiser, more experienced, and have more common sense than you.

Like all rules, some of these are made to be broken. I have ignored them all over the years and lived to tell the tale. That is not a glowing recommendation.

Also, let me suggest the following before you read on. I believe the following to be true. If you are unemployed, you probably shouldn't be dating. Unemployment saps self confidence and self confidence is vitally important on a first date. Secondly, married women are out of bounds to gentlemen, at all times, always.

My 10 Commandments

1. There is an implied contract implied when asking a woman for a date. The implication is that you are an interesting person, and believe that she may also be a person of interest, and you are willing to find that out, by asking for a date. By accepting she acknowledges that she too is interested.

In short, the first date is about her.

2. Primp: A day or so before the date, make a plan. Call and tell her exactly where she is going, what she is going to do. Then lay out your clothes. Are they clean, do they fit, do they need pressing? Shine your shoes. Take pride in yourself and your appearance.

I admit a certain embarrassment in mentioning this, but much observation requires me to tell you to shower, shave, brush your teeth, comb your hair and make yourself presentable. There is no shame in being the best dressed man, wherever you are going.

Ever watch your sister prepare for a date? Girls spend a lot more time getting ready than you. Honor your date by looking your best. She's looking hers.

3. Wash your car, get gas, go to the ATM before you pick her up. You invited her, you're paying, no questions asked. Turn off your car radio when you get to her house. You have different tastes in music. Don't kill your chances here.

4. Be prepared for anything when you knock on her door. She may live at home, so you may get to meet her parents. Perhaps she has young children. Smile. Be polite, be interested. Don't kick her cat.

5. Turn off your cell phone, or at least set it on vibrate. If you answer it tonight for other than your children or babysitter you die. Give your thumbs a rest. This date is about you two. It's not important to know that your friends have found the bar where the fashion week models hang out. You're not going there, you have other plans for the evening, perhaps with the mother of your future children.

6. Be a gentleman. Stand up. Smile. Watch your language. Help her with her coat, open her door, open her car door, walk around the front of the car, get in. When you arrive, open her car door, assist as needed. When you get where you're going, if it's inclement drop her off/pick her up at the door. You can navigate the parking alone.

Perhaps this sounds really out of touch, but let me explain. Its good manners, the right thing to do. You are trying to stand out from the crowd. Show early on that you are at least semi-evolved, or have had good home training. It will pay dividends later when she calculates if its worth her time providing the training you'll need.

7. There is only the two of you. You are both adults. You each have baggage, you have dated before. It's not important for her to learn tonight that you regularly date cheerleaders. You don't want to find out tonight that she regularly dates pro football players. The past is not welcome this evening.

She accepted your offer of a date, because she has some interest in getting to know you. Women are the civilizing influence in our culture. She is not going out with you solely because you are male and breathing. Show some respect. Listen!! She doesn't ever want to hear your complaints about old girlfriends.

8. Send a text message tonight, and the date is OVER. She has my permission to shove your IPHONE unlubricated up your ass, or ask to be taken home immediately. You will accept either quietly and deservedly.

9. There are less than 6 degrees of separation. Regardless of where you live, your circle intersects hers somewhere.

Before your date, she told everyone she knows that she was going out with you. This was for two reasons. To learn something about you, and for bragging rights. After the date, she will again talk with everyone she knows about your date. If you are a bounder, you pollute your own dating pool. If you were not the right guy for her, but comported yourself well, she will tell everyone that sadly you two didn't click, but that you would be a good pick up for someone else. She may even help make that happen.

10. Sometimes miracles occur. Keep a fresh one in your wallet and use it. Call the next day.

Have a great weekend. I await your comments. In your heart you know I'm right.

Toad

PS: Last time this saw the light of day a reader asked if I had any tips for women. Having given this some thought my answer was and is NO. I've been out of the game way to long, but I would love to read and take issue with yours.