Thursday, August 28, 2008

Number two son

Sunday is number 2 son's birthday. He was born exactly a year and a week after #1 son. They are not quite Irish twins but pretty close.

Bunky is a student and forest firefighter in Oregon and I neither hear from nor see him as much as I would like. The wilds of Oregon in the summer must be one of the few places in America without communications devices. I miss him terribly.

Happy birthday Bunky, be safe, come home soon. For the rest of you, have a great weekend and enjoy your holiday. I'll be back in touch Monday.


I feel like I'm fixin' to die

Sloth, age and calories have taken their toll on the old Toad. I'm no longer the svelte, flat tummied boy of my youth.

So what's a vain, idle fatman to do? I joined Mayberry's newest gym, that's what.

In Mayberry idle, vain, fat people, are thick on the ground. So naturally, gyms, spas, lifestyle centers, and health clubs, are as common as weeds. Our latest opened August 15th and I made my first appearance the next day.

Week one I limited myself to a daily 45 minute jaunt on the treadmill. Just to get into a groove. It gave me time to repent my evil ways.

Week two has added several additional items of torture. Have you ever elipticaled? You have never hated life until you spend 45 minutes on this evil contraption. Add the rack and the crunch machine and your reminded you of those sweet days of the Inquisition.

Learn from my example. Repent now!!! If you don't put it on, you don't have to take it off.

Keep the shiny side up.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008 a friend indeed

While I am not a believer in the efficacy of prayer, I do believe in Karma.

Today worldwide neighbors, I am asking for your good wishes, or prayers if you would prefer, for a friend of our family. Today is going to be the second of a series of very trying and dispiriting days for she and her entire family.

When we can return the gift, let me know.


Monday, August 25, 2008

Football Season

I am not a sports fan.

I'm a did not watch the Olympics, rarely read the sports pages, don't know who is playing, haven't watched the Super Bowl since #3, kind of guy. While I most certainly do not miss football, it does sometimes cause funny looks from the peeps kibitzing at the donut shop on Monday morning. I missed the big game, and survived to tell the tale.

I've been gone so long I have forgotten who's who and where's where. So in an effort to make nice with my friends, neighbors, and fellow donut eaters as well as to continue my self improvement plan I recently announced to Mrs. T, that before the end of the season, I would make a valient effort to learn the cities and names of up to ten NFL teams.

Who knew that Indianapolis had a team?


Sunday, August 24, 2008

A chance outing

Friday was haircut day. I noticed last time I was there that next door was a tailor, so after my cut I walked next door to have my new tweed sport coat altered.

The tailor and I did the usual new customer dance, and since we each had a little time to kill began to shoot the breeze. He told me about growing up in his village in Pakistan, life in the US, his family etc.

As I was leaving he stopped me and said " You look like a bright fellow, tell me, What are the three GREATEST problems facing the world. Think about it a minute, while I write mine down, and then we'll compare."

So I told hime mine, he told me his, we agreed on two of them, and each agreed the others was worthy, but not as good as our own.

Our answers aren't important, but I urge you to try this with the person in the next cube, or with your spouse. I think the answers will surprize you.

I look forward to your comments.


Number 1 Son

Today is number one son's (mumble) birthday. He is also recovering from having his tonsils removed last week. Happy birthday number one son, and I hope to see you and your beautiful family soon.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Boys and their Toys

Unlike many of my friends I do not have many boy toys. No season tickets to sporting events, no golf, or expensive country club memberships, don’t hunt, no collections. What I do have is my fantasy garage.

I like cars. My tastes are simple, but tend toward British cars of my youth as opposed to say, flashy Italian exotics. I would rather own my cars than have them own me. Also, I am blessed with garage space.

Some have the gift of walking into a room and knowing exactly what accessory should go where, or how to decorate a space. I get half way there and then things fall flat. But what I can do is picture what needs to be in my garage, and where. It’s a near useless gift, but one none the less.

I have always liked Land Rovers and have lusted after a Range Rover for as long as I can remember. So why haven't I bought one? I'm cheap, and until now there has never been an inexpensive Rover.

Lucky for me, $4 gasoline prices have spooked many owners of these thirsty beasts into getting out at firesale prices. So why venture where angels fear to tread? In Mayberry, I'm lucky to drive 50 miles per month.

Friday, August 22, 2008


Blogs have long fascinated and scared me. I have wondered where in the world people found so much to say. How such interesting people had the time or the inclination to share their lives with the masses. Frankly, I felt inadequate. My life isn't that full.

However, I do have a few things to share, and I hope as time passes we each do our bit to make this world the best of all possible worlds.

I promise to rarely rant. I am no Howard Beale. I promise not to preach. Frankly, I just don't care enough. Free advice is rarely received and never welcome.

Over time I'll tell more about myself, my family, life in Mayberry, Ted the wonder dog, and how if I were king the world might be a different place.

I look forward to sharing time with you.